Many days passed quietly. I saw that Galt Roscoe wished to speak to me
on the subject perplexing him, but I did not help him. I knew that
it would come in good time, and the farther off it was the better. I
dreaded to hear what he had to tell, lest, in spite of my confidence in
him, it should really be a thing which, if made public, must bring ruin.
During the evenings of these days he wrote much in his diary--the very
book that lies by me now. Writing seemed a relief to him, for he was
more cheerful afterwards. I know that he had received letters from the
summer hotel, but whether they were from Mrs. Falchion or Justine Caron
I was not then aware, though I afterwards came to know that one of them
was from Justine, asking him if she might call on him. He guessed that
the request was connected with Hector Caron’s death; and, of course,
gave his consent. During this time he did not visit Ruth Devlin, nor did
he mention her name. As for myself, I was sick of the whole business,
and wished it well over, whatever the result.
I make here a few extracts from Roscoe’s diary, to show the state of his
mind at this period:
Can a man never get away from the consequences of his wickedness,
even though he repents?... Restitution is necessary as well
as repentance; but when one cannot make restitution, when it is
impossible--what then? I suppose one has to reply, Well, you have
to suffer, that is all.... Poor Alo! To think that after all
these years, you can strike me!
There is something malicious in the way Mercy Falchion crosses my
path. What she knows, she knows; and what she can do if she
chooses, I must endure. I cannot love Mercy Falchion again, and
that, I suppose, is the last thing she would wish now. I cannot
bring Alo back. But how does that concern her! Why does she hate
me so? For, underneath her kindest words,--and they are kind
sometimes,--I can detect the note of enmity, of calculating scorn.
... I wish I could go to Ruth and tell her all, and ask her to
decide if she can take a man with such a past.... What a
thing it is to have had a clean record of unflinching manliness at
one’s back!
I add another extract:
Phil’s story of Danger Mountain struck like ice at my heart. There
was a horrible irony in the thing: that it should be told to me, of
all the world, and at such a time. Some would say, I suppose, that
it was the arrangement of Providence. Not to speak it profanely, it
seems to be the achievement of the devil. The torture was too
malicious for God....
Phil’s letter has gone to his pal at Danger Mountain....
The fourth day after the funeral Justine Caron came to see Galt Roscoe.
This was the substance of their conversation, as I came to know long
afterwards.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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