"Oh! Boy," she cried, "isn't it impossible to get away from the
suffering and the rottenness--even for a moment?" She shook herself as
if to cast off the mood, and stretched out her arms to the open hills.
"I'm sorry," she said briefly. "Come into the big spaces and tell me
what you want to say. . . ."
For a while they walked on over the clean-cut turf and the wind from
the sea swept through the gorse and the rustling grasses, and kissed
them, and passed on.
"There is a hayrick, I see, girl o' mine," said Vane. "Let's go and
sit under it. And in defiance of all laws and regulations we will
there smoke a cigarette."
They reached the sheltered side of it, and Vane threw down his coat on
the ground for her to sit on.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she whispered, and he drew her into
his arms and kissed her. Then he made her sit down, and arranged the
coat around her shoulders.
"You come in too," she ordered. "There's plenty of room for
both. . . ."
And so with his arm around her waist, and his cheek touching hers they
sat for awhile in silence.
Then suddenly Vane spoke. "Grey girl--I'm going away to-day."
"Going away?" She echoed the words and stared at him incredulously.
"But . . . but . . . I thought. . . ."
"So did I," he returned quietly. "When I came down here yesterday I
had only one thought in my mind--and that was to make you give up
Baxter. I wanted it from purely selfish reasons; I wanted it because I
wanted you myself. . . ."
"And don't you now?" Her voice was wondering.
"More--infinitely more--than I did before. But there's one thing I
want even more than that--your happiness." He was staring steadily
over the great stretch of open country to where Crowborough lay in the
purple distance. "When you came to me last night, little Joan, I
thought I should suffocate with the happiness of it. It seemed so
gloriously trustful of you . . . though, I must admit that idea did not
come at first. You see I'm only a man; and you're a lovely
girl. . . ." He laughed a little shortly. "I'd made up my mind to
drift these next two or three days, and then when you came it seemed to
be a direct answer to the problem. I didn't realise just to begin with
that you weren't quite capable of thinking things out for
yourself. . . . I didn't care, either. It was you and I--a woman and
a man; it was the answer. And then you started to cry--in my arms.
The strain had been too much. Gradually as you cried and clung to me,
all the tearing overmastering passion went--and just a much bigger love
for you came instead of it. . . . You see, it seemed to me that you,
in your weakness last night, had placed the settlement on my
shoulders. . . ."
"It's there now, dear man," she whispered. "I'd just got tired, tired,
tired of fighting---- And last night it all seemed so clear." With
her breast rising and falling quickly she stared over the hills, and
Vane watched her with eyes full of love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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