How strange was this world of Prime Ministers and actor-managers which
dominated London and in which London acquiesced; very charming, very
delightful, if only one could believe in it, or could accept that it
was the best possible that London could throw up. But if it was so,
what need was there of so much advertising, paragraphing, interviewing?
Which was the pretence, the theatre or the world outside it? Which
were the actresses, she and Julia Wainwright and the rest, or Lady
Butcher and Lady Bracebridge? And in fine, was it all, like everything
else, only a question of money? Verschoyle's money? And if Verschoyle
paid, why was he shoved aside so ignominiously?
Clara shivered as she thought of the immense complication of what
should be so simple and true and beautiful.... But what alternative
was there? This elaboration and corruption of the theatre or the
imagination working freely in an empty room.
She could see no other. Rodd's terrible concentration ending in
impotence or the dissipation of real powers, as in Butcher and Mann, in
fantasy.
Absorbed in her work, intent upon the forthcoming production, she was
detached from them all and could at last discover how little any of
them needed her. She could not really enter into their work though all
three had been disturbed by her and diverted for a time at least from
their habitual purposes.... What mattered in each of the three men was
the artist, and in each the artist was fettered by life. She had
promised them release only to plunge them into greater difficulties.
She brooded over herself, wondering what she was, and how she came to
be so unconcerned with things that to other women seemed paramount. It
was nothing to her that Charles had a wife. It had all happened long
before he met her, and was no affair of hers.... That Sir Henry should
make love to her was merely comic. She could not even take advantage
of it, for in that direction she could not move at all. Instinctively
she knew that her sex was given her for one purpose only, and that the
highest, and she could not turn it to any base or material use. While
she adhered to this she could be Ariel, pure spirit to dominate her
life and direct her will, which no power on earth could break.... How
came she to be so free, and so foreign to the world of women? Her
upbringing! Her early independence! Or some new spirit stirring in
humanity?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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