Here in this room he was another man. The humility that was his most
endearing quality was submerged in his creative arrogance. Almost it
seemed that he resented her intrusion as a menace to the life which he
had made for himself, the world of suffering and tortured creatures
with which he had surrounded himself, the creatures whom he had loved
so much that contact with his fellows had come to be in some sort a
betrayal of them. To an extraordinary degree the atmosphere of the
room was charged with his personality, and with the immense continuous
effort he had made to achieve his purpose. Here there was something
demoniac and challenging in him. He presented this empty room to her
as his life and seemed to hurl defiance at her to disturb it.
She had never had so fiercely stimulating a challenge to her
personality. In her heart she compared this austere room with the
ceremony of the Imperium, and there was no doubt which of the two
contained the more vitality. Here in solitude was a man creating that
which alone which could justify the elaborate and costly machinery of
the great theatre which had been used for almost a generation by the
bland and boyish Sir Henry Butcher to exploit his own engaging
personality.
Clara was ashamed of the jealousy which had made her snatch Rodd's work
out of his hand. It had set his passion raging against her. He who
had faced the hostility and indifference of the world all through his
ambitious youth was inflamed by the hostility of love which had shaken
but not yet uprooted his fierce will--never to compromise, but to
adhere to the logic of his vision. The rage in him was intolerable.
She said,--
'You don't like it?'
What?'
'My being at the Imperium.'
'It is not for me to like or dislike. I am not the controller of your
movements. I would never control the movements of any living creature.'
'Except in your work.'
'They work out their own salvation. They are nothing to do with me,
any more than the woman on the stairs.'
'But you love them.'
(He had made them as real to her as they were to himself.)
'They don't leave me alone. They want to live.... But they can only
live on the stage.'
He shook back his head and with supreme arrogance he said,--
'As they will when the stage is fit for them.'
She could not bear the strain any longer, and to bring him back to
actuality she said,--
'How old are you?'
'Thirty-one.'
His next move horrified her. He stepped forward, seized his
manuscript, and tore it into fragments.
'There!' he said, 'are you satisfied?'
'No. That was childish of you.... You will only sit down and begin
all over again.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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