If only she could weep. The woman in her calculated. If only she
could weep! But where another woman would have wept she could not.
She could only turn to her will and draw further strength from that.
It was so maddening, so silly, that play acting should entail such a
price. It was making it all too serious. What after all was it? Just
the instinct of play organised, and what was play without a happy joy?
If only she would weep, the obstinate old man clinging to his success
would melt; he would be kind; he would forgo all this nonsense that had
been buzzing in his scatter brain.... What he could not stand was
sincerity and a will diverted to other purposes than his own.... It
made her tremble with rage to think that all his enthusiasm for the
play, the real work he had put into rehearsals, his snubbing of Mr
Gillies and his wife, had all been only because he fancied himself in
his blown vanity to be in love with her. It was too ridiculous, and
despising him, hating herself, she decided that if it was acting he
wanted, acting he should have, and she burst into a torrent of tears
conjured up out of an entirely fictitious emotion.... At once Sir
Henry had the cue he was waiting for.... He leaped up and came over to
her with his hand on his heart.
Don't cry, little girl,' he said. 'Don't cry.... Harry is with you.
Harry only wants to be kind to her, and to help his poor little girl in
her trouble.... She shall be the greatest actress in the world.'
'Never!' thought Clara, her brain working more clearly now that she had
set up this screen of tears between them.
He patted her hand and caressed her hair, and was sublimely happy
again. He had half expected trouble from this unaccountable and
baffling creature, whose will and wits were stronger than his own. He
was still a little suspicious, but he took her tears for acquiescence
in his plans for her, and holding her in his arms he had the intense
satisfaction of thinking of Charles Mann as a filthy blackguard for
whom shooting was too clean an end.
XIV
VERSCHOYLE FORGETS HIMSELF
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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