"I don't much care," said Guido roughly. "Man, I got to do something,
don't I? If I can't help her, I got to do something."
The minutes passed. No patrol car sirened at them. There was not,
indeed, much traffic at this time of a Thursday. As they fled south,
onto the old two-lane highway, the sky grew overcast.
"Nuts," said Guido. "There'll be fog along the coast. We'll have to
crawl. Let's turn back."
"No," said Kintyre. "Keep going."
Guido stole an indignant look at him. "Wait a second," he began.
"Keep going, I said!" Kintyre roared it.
Guido started. Then, shrugging, he gave his attention back to the road.
"Is it that important?" he asked.
Kintyre didn't answer because he didn't know. He sat hunched into
passivity, not caring how fast they went or if they crashed. It
shouldn't matter to him where he was taken. But it did. He couldn't
tell why--_damn that fouled subconscious of mine, anyway!_ But it was
like a hand upon him.
Perhaps it was only that he had to get back for a while to the great
shouting decency of the ocean.
"You're a funny one, Doc," said Guido after a long time.
"Aren't we all?"
"You're crazy, even for a human being. I mean, you're the cat who's
had the adventurous life, got the culture, made the big success--oh,
yes, you don't get paid much, but you know damn well how far you've
succeeded and how much further you can go--you're everything Bruce
wanted to be. Hell, you're everything I wish I wanted to be. And you
can't wait to die!"
Kintyre said, jarred: "That isn't true. I'm just in a bad mood."
"So am I, Doc, so am I. Think I dare let myself imagine about Corinna?
Think I enjoy realizing how poorly I've shown up in the last few days?
But I keep going. What is it makes you fold up?"
Kintyre turned his face from the bluffs now humping up around him,
toward Guido. There was a radiation of vitality from the other man;
something had disfigured it, so that his days ran out in pettiness, but
he would always be more alive than most.
"Why do you stay around here?" asked Kintyre slowly.
"Man, I like it."
"Can't you see it's poison for you? As long as you stay where you were
a child, you'll always be one. If you could get away, you'd have a
chance to grow up."
Guido reddened. "Thanks, Mother Superior."
"I'm not trying to insult you. I'm only thinking, your trouble could be
caused by a situation. A place. Did you get overseas in the Army?"
"No, unless you count Alaska."
"And of course it wasn't your kind of life. All you'd think about
would be going home. But suppose you went somewhere else, someplace
congenial--and stayed. I wonder if you mightn't feel like buckling
down. You could still make a name for yourself, or at least a fair
living, as an entertainer. If you'd try."
"Go where?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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