My Actor-Husband: A true story of American stage lifeAnonymous
General
My Actor-Husband: A true story of American stage life
Anonymous
Actors -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Theater -- Moral and ethical aspects -- Fiction
yourself in the eyes before it is too late! If you have no self-respect,
no respect for your sex, try at least to respect the rights of those
little souls you've brought into the world without their asking. O, yes,
cry!... Crocodile tears and alcoholic drool!... It's a mistake to
believe that all women have the maternal instinct ... so have female
cats and dogs--and rabbits." ...
I had risen as my fury sought to master me. I stood beside the bed
looking down at her ... making an ineffectual last-ditch fight for my
self-control. Something about the woman ... the very quality of her
night-dress--the heavily jewelled fingers--maddened me. The poison
coursed through my veins like quick-silver ... once before in my life I
had felt it ... before my boy was born ... _then_ I had succumbed to a
desire to wreak physical vengeance ... the same madness seized me now
... I saw her shrink from me....
"O, you--_you_ ----!"
... I didn't say it; I caught myself in time. The blood stained my face
with shame--shame with the very coarseness of the thought; shame with
the whole revolting situation. Was I, too, become impregnated with the
corroding influence of my environment? I turned and walked toward the
door. As I reached for the knob, it opened and some one entered
abruptly. I jumped aside to avoid being struck.
I knew who he was though I had never seen him before. The next moment I
had reached for his hand and grasped it impulsively, at the same time
laying a warning finger on my lips and indicating the bed.
"O, Mr. F., you don't know how glad I am to see you. We've been worried
to death ... she's asleep now, after the most racking night ... do you
mind not waking her for the present?... of course if you'd rather ..." I
waited while he looked at the figure of his wife, lying helpless with
her face to the wall, while his eyes roved to question those of the
sister, then back to mine with the single word:
"Sick?... How long has she been sick?"
"Ever since we arrived here; it's the grippe, I think, though we
couldn't induce her to see a doctor. She's been so upset at not hearing
from you.... Do you mind stepping into the hall where we can talk more
freely without danger of disturbing her?... Edith will call us if she
awakens, won't you, Edith?" ...
* * * * *
Edith did not call. The hall was draughty; I managed a sneeze. Mr. F.
suggested that we go down to the grill and have a drink. In the elevator
I saw him glance furtively at me.... I was humming softly to myself. I
watched his eyes in the mirror; they had a confused look not unmixed
with suspicion. Not until after the second cocktail did he thaw a bit.
He asked me whether I had dined. I told him I had not. After he had
ordered, he leaned back in his chair and gave me a penetrating look. I
met his eyes and smiled a little.
"You look tired," I said.
"I am--rather. These sleeper jumps take it out of a fellow."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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