My Autobiography: A FragmentMüller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Religion
My Autobiography: A Fragment
Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max)
Asianists -- Germany -- Biography; Müller, F. Max (Friedrich Max), 1823-1900
Nothing could seem more prosperous than my friend Morier’s career; but
few people knew how utterly miserable he really was. He had one son,
in many respects the very image of his father, a giant in stature,
very handsome, and most attractive. In spite of all we said to him he
would not send his son to a public school in England, but kept him
with him at the different embassies, where his only companions were
the young attachés and secretaries. He had a private tutor, and when
that tutor declared that young Morier was fit for the University, his
father managed to get him into Balliol, recommending him to the
special care of the Master. He actually lived in the Master’s house
for a time, but enjoyed the greatest liberty that an undergraduate at
Oxford may enjoy. His father was wrapped up in his boy, but at the
same time tried to frighten him into hard work, or at least into
getting through the examinations. All was in vain; young Morier was so
nervous that he could never pass an examination. What might be
expected followed, and the father had at last to remove him to begin
work as an honorary attaché at his own embassy. I liked the young man
very much, but my own impression is that his nervousness quite
unfitted him for serious work. The end was beyond description sad. He
went to South Africa in the police force, distinguished himself very
much, came back to England, and then on his second voyage to the Cape
died suddenly on board the steamer. I have seldom seen such utter
misery as his father’s. He loved his son and the son loved his father
passionately, but the father expected more than it was physically and
mentally possible for the son to do. Hence arose misunderstandings,
and yet beneath the surface there was this passionate love, like the
love of lovers. When I saw my old friend last, he cried and sobbed
like a child: his heart was really broken. He went on for a few years
more, suffering much from ill health, but really killed at last by his
utter misery. I knew him in the bright morning of his life, at the
meridian of his great success, and last in the dark night when light
and life seems gone, when the moon and all the stars are extinguished,
and nothing remains but patient suffering and the hope of a brighter
morn to come.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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