My Friend the ChauffeurWilliamson, C. N. (Charles Norris)
General
My Friend the Chauffeur
Williamson, C. N. (Charles Norris)
Automobiles -- Fiction; Europe -- Fiction; Voyages and travels -- Fiction
The first thing that happened was a view--a view so unexpected and so
superb that I gaped at it with my mouth open. So far away, so far below,
that it was as if we looked down from a balloon sailing among the
clouds, two lakes were set like sapphires in a double ring of mountains,
whose greens and blues and purples were dimmed by a falling veil of
twilight. But through the veil, white villas gleamed on the dark
hillsides, like pearls that had fallen down the mountain-side,
scattering as they fell; and above, in the great pale dome of the sky, a
faint silver light pulsed and quivered, like the water-lights that one
sees on the wall of a room near the river. It was a search-light sent out
by the moon, which was _en panne_ somewhere on its way up the horizon,
Maida said; and it was she who put some of those other thoughts into my
mind; but my head didn't hold any of them long at that time, because of
the next thing that happened.
It was not a view; it was a plunge that we took down into the view.
We had come up one side of a house to get to this place on the roof, and
now we began to slither down the other side, which was worse, a hundred
times worse.
Who was it who said, "A horse, my kingdom for a horse?" I think it must
have been Richard the Third in Shakspere's play, which I went to see
once in Denver, at a matinee, and Mr. Kidder scolded me afterwards for
wasting my time and his money. Well, I never sympathized with any one so
much in life as I sympathized with that poor man (I mean Richard, not
Mr. Kidder) at this moment. I knew just how he must have felt, though of
course the circumstances were somewhat different, automobiles not having
been invented in those days, and he being on the stage, with a battle
going on behind the scenes, where it was cheaper to produce, I suppose.
But I would have given my money, and even my title, for a kind, gentle
horse (the older the better) instead of a motor-car. A horse, at his
worst, doesn't want to kill himself, while an automobile doesn't care
what happens to it; and in these dreadful moments the only possible
comfort would have been in sitting behind a thing with an instinct of
self-preservation.
As it was, I sat with every muscle tense and a feeling as if my hair was
standing up so straight on my head that every hairpin must fall out. But
what was a hairpin more or less, or even a "transformation" a little
awry, to a woman about to become a corpse? I held my breath, as if to
let it go meant to lose it forever, while that automobile walked down
the mountain exactly as a fly walks down a long expanse of wall-paper,
making a short turn for every flower in the pattern.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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