Kentucky -- Fiction; Self-actualization (Psychology) in women -- Fiction
Sitting above in her chamber she saw the hill fields beyond the town as
the light of the sunset withdrew from the valley and spread laterally
over the plowed spaces that were ready now for the tobacco and the corn.
Her own uncertainty spread to become the uncertainty of the passing light
that lingered wanly, renewed itself, or was diffused into the somber
twilight. Presently she was looking out upon the uncertainty of trees and
gloom which was lit in feeble masses here and there by the street-lights.
Long after this she prepared for bed by the indefinite light of her lamp,
which made a hard and futile glow that subtended remote black shadows.
When she slept the hour was late. She fell into a confused dream that
centered about Albert, who leaned toward her from a bank giving her
flowers that he had plucked from beyond a fence, who walked before her
down a long hall, passing farther away, moving toward the inevitable
disaster of doors. Beyond this vivid image lay another, vaguely merged
with it but more remote, a picture under a picture, a large awkward
collie dog floundering before her in a path, moving away from her toward
some fixed limit, and in her inner being lay a disgust of him and a
loathing that fulfilled itself in a sudden sob of thankfulness when he
passed beyond her view. The passing form became then Conway with a laugh
in his eyes and pleasure in his words, but when he leaned near her to
kiss he became Albert, who caught her away into an unhappy fulfilment for
which she wept even in the deep trance of dream.
Later, long after, it seemed, into her sleep came a flat muffled sound as
if it were the shape of a peal of alarm, falling long and dull against
the enduring quality of her torpor. It was shaped, the sound, like the
fire alarm of the town, insistent and reiterated, but it fell toneless
upon her deadened senses. It seemed to her that she had slept very long
when it came again, that it was more perpetual, blurred into her dream
with matter that clotted and cluttered weary thought, timbers laid into
mind, shapeless and unwieldy masses set into a mind fixed upon sleep. A
brief annoyance arose with each curiously shaped flat tone, annoyance
that any matter should reiterate itself as if it had importance above any
other matter, but she did not stir in her bed or know any real beyond the
cluttering wooden masses of cry that had some relation to the village
fire alarm, some foolish senseless likeness. When the shapes finally
ceased she became aware of their withdrawal and missed them with a small
distress that half awakened her, but later she slept again.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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