My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
"'Well, now that I think of it, I was only smoking one cigar a day at
that time.'
"'Ah! we have it now,' he cried. 'One cigar a day, when I ordered you
three? I might have guessed as much. When I tell non-smokers that they
must smoke or I will not be answerable for the consequences, they
entreat me to let them break themselves of the habit of not smoking
gradually. One cigarette a day to begin with, they beg of me, promising
to increase the dose by degrees. Why, man, one cigarette a day is
poison; it is worse than not smoking.'
"'But that is not what I did.'
"'The idea is the same,' he said. 'Like the others, you make all this
moan about giving up completely a habit you should never have acquired.
For my own part, I cannot even understand where the subtle delights of
not smoking come in. Compared with health, they are surely immaterial.'
"'Of course, I admit that.'
"'Then, if you admit it, why pamper yourself?'
"'I suppose because one is weak in matters of habit. You have many cases
like mine?'
"'I have such cases every week,' he told me; 'indeed, it was having so
many cases of the kind that made me a specialist in the subject. When
I began practice I had not the least notion how common the non-tobacco
throat, as I call it, is.'
"'But the disease has been known, has it not, for a long time?'
"'Yes,' he said;' but the cause has only been discovered recently.
I could explain the malady to you scientifically, as many medical men
would prefer to do, but you are better to have it in plain English.'
"'Certainly; but I should like to know whether the symptoms in other
cases have been in every way similar to mine.'
"'They have doubtless differed in degree, but not otherwise,' he
answered. 'For instance, you say your sore throat is accompanied by
depression of spirits.'
"'Yes; indeed, the depression sometimes precedes the sore throat.'
"'Exactly. I presume, too, that you feel most depressed in the
evening--say, immediately after dinner?'
"'That is certainly the time I experience the depression most.'
"'The result,' he said, 'if I may venture on somewhat delicate matters,
is that your depression of spirits infects your wife and family, even
your servants?'
"'That is quite true,' I answered. 'Our home has by no means been so
happy as formerly. When a man is out of spirits, I suppose, he tends to
be brusque and undemonstrative to his wife, and to be easily irritated
by his children. Certainly that has been the case with me of late.'
"'Yes,' he exclaimed, 'and all because you have not carried out my
directions. Men ought to see that they have no right to indulge in not
smoking, if only for the sake of their wives and families. A bachelor
has more excuse, perhaps; but think of the example you set your children
in not making an effort to shake this self-indulgence off. In short,
smoke for the sake of your wife and family, if you won't smoke for the
sake of your health.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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