My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
I have never, to my knowledge, seen the man through the wall, for his
door is round the corner, and, besides, I have no interest in him until
half-past eleven P.M. We begin then. I know him chiefly by his pipes,
and them I know by his taps on the wall as he knocks the ashes out of
them. He does not smoke the Arcadia, for his temper is hasty, and he
breaks the coals with his foot. Though I am compelled to say that I do
not consider his character very lovable, he has his good points, and I
like his attachment to his brier. He scrapes it, on the whole, a little
roughly, but that is because he is so anxious to light up again, and I
discovered long ago that he has signed an agreement with his wife to go
to bed at half-past twelve. For some time I could not understand why
he had a silver rim put on the bowl. I noticed the change in the tap
at once, and the natural conclusion would have been that the bowl had
cracked. But it never had the tap of a cracked bowl. I was reluctant
to believe that the man through the wall was merely some vulgar fellow,
and I felt that he could not be so, or else he would have smoked his
meerschaum more. At last I understood. The bowl had worn away on one
side, and the silver rim had been needed to keep the tobacco in.
Undoubtedly this was the explanation, for even before the rim came I was
a little puzzled by the taps of the brier. He never seemed to hit the
wall with the whole mouth of the bowl, but of course the reason was that
he could not. At the same time I do not exonerate him from blame. He is
a clumsy smoker to burn his bowl at one side, and I am afraid he lets
the stem slip round in his teeth. Of course, I see that the mouth-piece
is loose, but a piece of blotting-paper would remedy that.
His meerschaum is not such a good one as Jimmy's. Though Jimmy's
boastfulness about his meerschaum was hard to bear, none of us ever
denied the pipe's worth. The man through the wall has not a cherry-wood
stem to his meerschaum, and consequently it is too light. A ring has
been worn into the palm of his left hand, owing to his tapping the
meerschaum there, and it is as marked as Jimmy's ring, for, though Jimmy
tapped more strongly, the man through the wall has to tap oftener.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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