United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
“So I perceive,” I answered, my own spirits high. “The long night of
fasting must have left quite a vacancy.”
“I vos like a cistern in mein insides, by Chiminy.”
“No doubt; well, I am rather hungry myself. Mrs. Bungay, in memory of
old times cannot you spare me a plate? If so, I will take pleasure in
joining your happy company. Thank you. I see you have found your man.”
She glared down the table, and the little fellow visibly shrank.
“I have thet, sir,” she answered grimly, “an' I reckon as how he's
likely ter stay et hum arter this.”
“But you forget he is my guide,” I protested, not disinclined to test
her temper. “Surely, Mrs. Bungay, you would not deprive the South of his
valuable service?”
“An' wouldn't I, now? An' didn't thet little whiffit promise me long
afore he ever did you uns? Ain't he my nat'ral pertecter? Whut's a lone
female a goin' ter dew yere in ther mountings wi'out no man?” Her eyes
flashed angrily at me. “Suah, an' if it's jist fightin' as he wants so
bad I reckon as how he kin git it et hum wi'out goin' ter no war--anyhow
ye kin bet I don't give him up, now I got my hand on him agin, fer ther
whole kit an' caboodle of ye. He bean't much ter look et, likely, but he
's my man, an' I reckon as how ther Lord giv' him ter me ter take keer
of.”
“Really, Mrs. Bungay,” I insisted, “of course it will prove exceedingly
disagreeable to me, and I shall greatly regret being compelled to do
anything of the kind, but it is undoubtedly my duty to place Jed under
guard and carry him back to camp with me.”
“But suah, an' ye won't, Captain dear?” she pleaded, entirely changing
her tone. “Whut good is thet little whiffit ter you uns? There's never
so much as a decent fight in him thet I've found in twenty years. Maybe
ye think as how I'm jist a bit hard on him; but he's thet gay at times
thet he drives me fair crazy. Every lick I ever give him wus fer his own
good. Suah now, an' ye never would run off with my man?”
“Come, Jed, what do you say? Are you tired fighting the battles of the
Confederacy, and prefer those of home?”
“'Poor remnants of the Bleeding Heart,
Ellen and I will seek, apart,
The refuge of some forest cell,
There like the hunted quarry dwell,
Till on the mountain and the moor,
The stern pursuit be passed and o'er,'”
he quoted humbly. “I like ter read all 'bout fightin' well 'nough, but
durn it, Cap, it kinder hurts whin they hits ye on ther head with a
gun.” His face lit up suddenly. “'Sides, I sorter wanter hev Mariar git
'quainted with thet thar muel o' mine, Beelzebub.”
“But you've lost him.”
“Nary a durn loss; ye jist can't lose thet muel, he's too blame ornary.
He's out thar now, hitched ter a tree, an' a eatin' fit ter bust his
biler--never a durn mark on his hide fer all he wint through.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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