My Little LadyPoynter, E. Frances (Eleanor Frances)
General
My Little Lady
Poynter, E. Frances (Eleanor Frances)
Fiction
Not till Monsieur Horace was indeed gone, and there was no
longer any hope of seeing him return, not till the last door
was closed between them, the last link broken with the outer
world, not till then perhaps did our little Madelon begin to
comprehend the change that one brief fortnight had worked in
her whole life. Till now, she had scarcely felt the full
bitterness of her father's death, or understood that the old,
happy, bright, beautiful life was at an end for ever. These
last days had been so full of excitement, she had been so
hurried from one new sensation to another, that she had not
had time to occupy herself exclusively with this great sorrow
that had fallen upon her; but there was nothing to distract
her now. Her father's death, which she had found so hard to
understand in the midst of everyday life and familiar
associations, she realized all too bitterly when such
realization was aided by the blank convent walls and the dull
convent routine; the sorrow that had been diverted for a
moment by another strong predominant feeling, returned with
overwhelming force when on every side she saw none but strange
faces, heard none but unfamiliar voices; liberty, and joy, and
affection seemed suddenly to have taken to themselves wings
and deserted her, and she was left alone with her desolation.
The child was half-crazed in these first days in the extremity
of her grief; the nuns tried to console her, but she was at
first beyond consolation. She did not know what to do with her
sense of misery, her hopeless yearning, with the sudden
darkness which had fallen upon her bright life, and where she
was left to grope without one hand stretched out by which she
could reach back as it were, into the past, and grasp some
familiar reality that should help her to a comprehension of
this strange new world in which she found herself. We hear
often enough of the short life of childish troubles, quickly
excited, and as quickly forgotten--true enough perhaps of the
griefs isolated, so to speak, in the midst of long days of
happiness. But the grief that is not isolated? The grief over
which the child cries itself to sleep every night, and which
wakes with it in the morning, saddening and darkening with its
own gloom the day which ought to be so joyous? In such a grief
as this, there is, perhaps, for the time it lasts, no sorrow
so sad, so acute, so hopeless, as a child's. For us, who with
our wide experience have lived through so much, and must
expect to live through so much more, a strength has risen up
out of our very extremity, as we have learnt to believe in a
beyond, in a future that must succeed the darkest hour. But a
child, as a rule, has neither past nor future; it lives in the
present. The past lies behind, already half forgotten in to-
day's happiness or trouble; the future is utterly wide, vague,
and impracticable, in nowise modifying or limiting the sorrow
which, to its unpractised imagination, can have no ending.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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