My Lords of Strogue, Vol. 2 (of 3): A Chronicle of Ireland, from the Convention to the UnionWingfield, Lewis
History
My Lords of Strogue, Vol. 2 (of 3): A Chronicle of Ireland, from the Convention to the Union
Wingfield, Lewis
Historical fiction; Ireland -- History -- 18th century -- Fiction
For a while his spirit was invaded by the same rush of unworthiness
which had so unnerved Tom Emmett when he was arrested. He too felt the
bitter sense of upbraiding humiliation with which Tom had asked
himself what right had one, who was incapable of common prudence, to
traffic thus rashly with the lives of other men? Do his duty! Was it
his duty to put himself forward in this affair, or was it merely a
culpable personal vanity disguised as self-sacrifice? He strove
earnestly to settle that question--so earnestly that Phil, who watched
him, was aghast at his distress, and endeavoured by humble barks and
frolicking: to cheer his master from the dumps. To no purpose. With
grief be it admitted that his master cursed him roundly, abused him
with such unnecessary harshness that the poor fellow slunk away with
tears in his eyes, under pretence of fetching the green kerchief. Big
drops of sweat stood on the young man's brow. His brains had never in
all his years been so tried as during the last few months. Only those
usually unused to thought can tell of the dreadful addled feeling of
helplessness which comes upon the muddled intellect during its first
feeble struggles into work.
After a time he grew calmer, as the one bright point stood out
distinctly. It was not the vanity of power--the attribute of
Jack-in-office, which had galvanised his careless nature into serious
purpose. Look at it how he would, he was clearly above such meanness.
He had no personal ambition--that was what Doreen had constantly
dinned into his ears with scorn--and he had wished that, to please
her, he could have become ambitious. But it was out of the question.
He liked the world--its bright sun, its flowers, its myriad life--but
with no desire for exclusive possession of its delights. He was not
discontented with his lot, even though his brother was rude sometimes,
and his mother cold and unaffectionate. His only troubles had been his
trivial debts; they alone had stirred his brains to scheming, and he
had borne them good-humouredly as his share of the ills of life. He
thought Doreen bewitching--deliriously delightful. Her he would fain
possess as his own--his very own. There was nothing specially
ambitious in that; for the lowly sparrow, as well as the stately fowl
of Cochin, is justified in seeking out a mate--the best who will
accept him. No; he was indolently, comfortably content to take the
world as he found it, making excuses for its bumps, palliating its
disagreeables--until that time when his eyes had been opened as though
scales had fallen from them. Since then he was an altered man; sobered
by the shock of suddenly perceiving the precipice on which his country
stood. At first he had refused to gauge the depth of the abyss; it was
so much pleasanter to turn aside to dally with the flowers. Then the
upright courage which had hitherto lain dormant spoke, bidding him
mark Erin's loveliness--commanding him to stretch out his hand to stay
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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