They did not want me to be acquainted with death at my early age, and
foreseeing its near approach and dreading the disturbance I should
be sure to make, they took the precaution of taking me away at five
o'clock in the afternoon. Maman Zine returned to the house after
leaving me, as my poor mother needed help during the coming night.
I worshipped my father. Maybe, at so early an age, the feeling which
now I should call love was nothing but an innocent and wondering
admiration for the herculean stature and giant strength which I had
seen my father exercise on various occasions. Perhaps it was only a
childish pride in his braided coat, his tricoloured cockade, and his
big sword, which I could scarcely lift. But, whatever it may have been,
the recollection of my father, in every detail of his figure, in every
feature of his face, is as present with me as though I had but lost
him yesterday. No matter from what reasons, I love him still with as
tender and deep and true a love as though he had watched over my youth
and I had had the blessing of leaning on his strong arm throughout my
childhood and early manhood.
On his side, too, my father worshipped me. I have said it, and I
cannot repeat the fact too often, especially if the dead hear what is
said of them; and, although during the last period of his life his
great sufferings had got on his nerves to such an extent that he could
not bear any noise or movement in his room, he made an exception for me.
I do not remember whether they took me to kiss my father before I
was taken away; what happened during the night the events of which
I am about to relate, whether or not it be put down to my youthful
imagination, makes me think that they had forgotten that pious care.
As I have said, my only notions of death were taken from the death
of my big black dog and the fainting bather. It would, besides, have
been extremely difficult for me to realise the death of my father,
whom I had seen on his horse only three days previously. So I did not
approve of being taken from home, and, once away, I was ignorant as to
whether my father spoke of me or asked for me. A veil is drawn over
my eyes in connection with that last day of his life. I only remember
the following incident I am about to relate, the details of which are
perfectly clear to my mind.
They had taken me to my uncle's house.
This worthy individual was a locksmith, named Fortier; and he had a
brother who was a village priest. I shall speak of this brother later,
for he was a very curious type of person.
I remained, therefore, under the care of my cousin Marianne.
Allow me to give an exact plan of the house, in order to make the
situation clear. It is forty years or more since I entered the house
and yet I can see it as though I had just left it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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