And now, without a literary friend to help him in all Paris; alone in
his wretched attic, with his deal-table and his truckle-bed, his
dog's-eared books, his bescrawled papers, his wild vanity, and his
ravenous hunger for fame, Balzac stripped resolutely for the great
fight. He was then twenty-three years old--a sturdy fellow to look at,
with a big, jovial face, and a strong square forehead, topped by a
very untidy and superfluous allowance of long tangled hair. His only
difficulty at starting was what to begin upon. After consuming many
lonely months in sketching out comedies, operas, and novels, he
finally obeyed the one disastrous rule which seems to admit of no
exception in the early lives of men of letters, and fixed the whole
bent of his industry and his genius on the production of a tragedy.
After infinite pains and long labour, the great work was completed.
The subject was Cromwell; and the treatment, in Balzac's hands,
appears to have been so inconceivably bad, that even his own
family--to say nothing of other judicious friends--told him in the
plainest terms, when he read it to them, that he had perpetrated a
signal failure. Modest men might have been discouraged by this. Balzac
took his manuscript back to his garret, standing higher in his own
estimation than ever. "I will give up being a great dramatist," he
told his parents at parting, "and I will be a great novelist instead."
The vanity of the man expressed itself with this sublime disregard of
ridicule all through his life. It was a precious quality to him--it is
surely (however unquestionably offensive it may be to our friends) a
precious quality to all of us. What man ever yet did anything great,
without beginning with a profound belief in his own untried powers?
Confident as ever, therefore, in his own resources, Balzac now took up
the pen once more--this time, in the character of a novelist. But
another and a serious check awaited him at the outset. Fifteen months
of solitude, privation, and reckless hard writing--months which are
recorded in the pages of "La Peau de Chagrin" with a fearful and
pathetic truth, drawn straight from the bitterest of all experiences,
the experience of studious poverty--had reduced him to a condition of
bodily weakness which made all present exertion of his mental powers
simply hopeless, and which obliged him to take refuge--a worn-out,
wasted man, at the age of twenty-three--in his father's quiet little
country house. Here, under his mother's care, his exhausted energies
slowly revived; and here, in the first days of his convalescence, he
returned, with the grim resolution of despair, to working out the old
dream in the garret, to resuming the old hopeless business of making
himself a great man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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