"And to ask nothing in return," continued Mrs. Badgery, "but the
permission to bring my camp-stool with me, and to meditate on Mr.
Badgery in the empty rooms, with every one of which some happy
thought, or eloquent word, or tender action of his, is everlastingly
associated. I came here on my usual errand to-day. I am discovered, I
presume, by the new proprietor of the house--discovered, I am quite
ready to admit, as an intruder. I am willing to go, if you wish it
after hearing my explanation. My heart is full, sir; I am quite
incapable of contending with you. You would hardly think it, but I am
sitting on the spot once occupied by _our_ ottoman. I am looking
towards the window in which _my_ flower-stand once stood. In this very
place, Mr. Badgery first sat down and clasped me to his heart, when
we came back from our honeymoon trip. 'Matilda,' he said, 'your
drawing-room has been expensively papered, carpeted, and furnished for
a month; but it has only been adorned, love, since you entered it.' If
you have no sympathy, sir, for such remembrances as these; if you see
nothing pitiable in my position, taken in connection with my presence
here; if you cannot enter into my feelings, and thoroughly understand
that this is not a house, but a Shrine--you have only to say so, and I
am quite willing to go."
She spoke with the air of a martyr--a martyr to my insensibility. If
she had been the proprietor and I had been the intruder, she could not
have been more mournfully magnanimous. All this time, too, she never
raised her veil--she never has raised it, in my presence, from that
time to this. I have no idea whether she is young or old, dark or
fair, handsome or ugly: my impression is, that she is in every respect
a finished and perfect Gorgon; but I have no basis of fact on which I
can support that horrible idea. A moving mass of crape, and a muffled
voice--that, if you drive me to it, is all I know, in a personal point
of view, of Mrs. Badgery.
"Ever since my irreparable loss, this has been the shrine of my
pilgrimage, and the altar of my worship," proceeded the voice. "One
man may call himself a landlord, and say that he will let it; another
man may call himself a tenant, and say that he will take it. I don't
blame either of those two men; I don't wish to intrude on either of
those two men; I only tell them that this is my home; that my heart is
still in possession, and that no mortal laws, landlords, or tenants
can ever turn it out. If you don't understand this, sir; if the
holiest feelings that do honour to our common nature have no
particular sanctity in your estimation, pray do not scruple to say so;
pray tell me to go."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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