The whole world, gentlemen, at the present writing, means, in the
estimation of the two Miss Duckseys, papa, mamma, and brother George. This
loving sample can be warranted never yet to have looked beyond the sacred
precincts of the family circle. All their innocent powers of admiration
and appreciation have been hitherto limited within the boundaries of home.
If Miss Violet Ducksey wants to see a lovely girl, she looks at Miss Rose
Ducksey, and vice versâ; if both want to behold manly dignity, matronly
sweetness, and youthful beauty, both look immediately at papa, mamma, and
brother George. I have been admitted into the unparalleled family circle,
of which I now speak. I have seen--to say nothing, for the present, of
papa and mamma--I have seen brother George come in from business, and sit
down by the fireside, and be welcomed by Miss Violet and Miss Rose, as
if he had just returned, after having been reported dead, from the other
end of the world. I have seen those two devoted sisters race across the
room, in fond contention which should sit first on brother George's knee.
I have even seen both sit upon him together, each taking a knee, when
he has been half-an-hour later than usual at the office. I have never
beheld their lovely arms tired of clasping brother George's neck, never
heard their rosy lips cease kissing brother George's cheeks, except when
they were otherwise occupied for the moment in calling him "Dear!" On the
word of honour of a harmless spinster-fancying old man, I declare that I
have seen brother George fondled to such an extent by his sisters that,
although a lusty and long-suffering youth, he has fallen asleep under
it from sheer exhaustion. Even then, I have observed Miss Rose and Miss
Violet contending (in each other's arms) which should have the privilege
of casting her handkerchief over his face. And that touching contest
concluded, I have quitted the house at a late hour, leaving Violet on
papa's bosom, and Rose entwined round mamma's waist. Beautiful! beautiful!
Am I exaggerating? Go, and judge for yourselves, my bachelor friends. Go,
if you like, and meet my domestic sample at a ball.
My bachelor is introduced to Miss Violet, and takes his place with her
in a quadrille. He begins a lively conversation, and finds her attention
wandering. She has not heard a word that he has been saying, and she
interrupts him in the middle of a sentence with a question which has not
the slightest relation to anything that he has hitherto offered by way of
a remark.
"Have you ever met my sister Rose before?"
"No, I have not had the honour--"
"She is standing there, at the other end, in a blue dress. Now, do tell
me, does she not look charming?"
My bachelor makes the necessary answer, and goes on to another subject.
Miss Violet's attention wanders again, and she asks another abrupt
question.
"What did you think of mamma, when you were introduced to her?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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