"You always give me pleasure by staying with me," she said at last, in that soft voice which had fascinated me at our meeting on the boulevard. Ah! such voices are as deceitful as the others! In vain did I try to compose my features and assume a cheerful air; I could not manage it. I felt as if something were choking me, suffocating me. I had had that feeling so often!--I went to the window, but instantly turned away; I must not run the risk of being recognized in the evening. Oh! what a tedious day it was! I put forward the dinner hour; never, I think, was a dinner so dreary to me! Caroline complained of a headache; but I did not complain. If I could only have made love to her! I tried; but her replies seemed commonplace beyond words to me. A conversation between two people who have ceased to love each other is woefully stupid. I suggested that we go to the theatre. She declined; her headache was growing worse, and she felt very uncomfortable. "Perfidious creature!" I said to myself; "I understand! Why not say to me frankly: 'I no longer love you'? I should be less angry with you if you did that. But, no, falsehood and dissimulation must needs be added to inconstancy; you must always deceive us!" "Would you like me to stay with you?" I asked, pretending to be anxious about her health. "No, no, thanks! All I need is rest; I shall have forgotten all about it to-morrow." She could not conceal the fright caused by my proposition, which would have upset all her plans. It was in my power to prevent their execution that evening by remaining with her; but what would the result be? I should simply postpone the catastrophe, and I should not have the pleasure of confounding her an hour or two hence! Ah! I had no desire to postpone that moment! I wished that it had already arrived. When we know that we are to undergo a painful trial, the moments that precede it are more cruel than those that follow it. The clock struck eight; she went to bed, in order to try to sleep. That was the signal for me to retire. I bade her good-night. She came to me to kiss me; she pressed my hand, and her eyes were dry, her heart beat no faster!--I left the house; it was high time, for I was on the point of breaking out! I was not sorry to have two hours before me previous to meeting Raymond. I had time to calm myself and to decide what course to pursue. I felt at once that the fresh air did me good. I have had that experience hundreds of times; an atmosphere more or less heavy has a great influence on our way of looking at things, especially when we are so unfortunate as to have excitable nerves. A little rain, a little wind, calms or arouses our passions; those which are natural are submissive to nature, and, thank heaven! I know no other passions and do not agree with those persons who declare that all passions are natural.