The party came off as advertised, but all it meant to the poor little
rich man was more grief! It was really a respectable enough affair, no
hats being broken or that sort of thing, and a pleasant time was had by
all with the slight exception of the charming host. Our hero made two
fatal mistakes. The first was not inviting Jerry Murphy and the second
was laying in a stock of canny Scotch for medicinal purposes, in case
any of his guests should get stricken with the dread disease of thirst.
The result was that an epidemic of parched throats broke out early in
the evening and pretty soon the other habitues of the St. Moe began
complaining bitterly about the unusually boisterous race riot that was
being staged with a top-heavy cast on the sixth floor. Mr. Williams, the
manager, who liked Jimmy Burns and arsenic the same way, called upon
Jerry Murphy to quell the disturbance and Jerry licked his lips with
delight. The man-mountain house detective run all the way upstairs,
figuring the elevators too slow to whisk him to a job as tasty to him as
cream is to puss. Jerry pounded on the door of Jimmy's salon and
demanded admittance. Recognizing his voice, James climbed unsteadily on
a chair, opened the transom and peered with a rolling eye at Jerry.
"Go roll yer hoop--hic--you big shtiff, thish is
gen'lemen's--hic--gen'lemen's blowout!" says Jimmy, carelessly pouring a
pitcher of water, cracked ice and all, on Jerry's noble head. "Hic--shee
kin you _laugh off!_"
Foaming at the mouth and uttering strange cries, the infuriated Jerry
broke through the door and the panic was on! The beauty and chivalry
present fled before the charging sleuth like they'd flee before a
charging hippo, but the unfortunate Jimmy got left at the post. After
cuffing him around the room till the sport palled on him, Jerry dragged
James off to durance vile and once again Jamesy is put under glass, this
time credited with illegally possessing spirits frumenti. They held him
under lock and key all night and it took all of Guy Tower's influence
and quite a few of his quarters to get Jerry to withdraw the charge and
free Jimmy the next morning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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