Kentucky -- History -- 19th century -- Fiction; Slavery -- United States -- Fiction
He made no reply, but with a leap and a strike he was upon me. I caught
the wrist of his right arm; I threw my left arm about him. I thought
that I heard his bones cracking and it gave me a thrill of mad delight.
I did not strive to get his knife. I bent his head down till his cry
was but a mutter; his right hand was crushed against his bosom--and I
threw him upon the ground. He struggled, with one faint cry, for his
face was in the grass, and I put my foot on his back to hold him down,
to complete my victory over him. And I am free to confess that my soul
was full of a joy that almost burnt me, it was so hot. Many a time had
he stood with his foot upon my trembling heart, and the memory of those
long years of humiliation swept over me and I lifted my hands and cried
aloud to the God of vengeance. I looked down at my foe under my foot.
And now he was so mean and shrunken that my heart flinched with a pity
that pricked it. I lifted my foot with a quick jerk lest another memory
might press it down the harder, and stood waiting for him to get up.
He did not move. "Get up," I said, taking him by the shoulder. But he
made no effort. Then I turned him upon his back and the moonlight fell
upon his blood, and horrified, I looked at him, his eyes wide open,
his teeth hard set with grass between them. His right hand was still
upon his left breast, clutching the knife, and its blade was buried in
his heart.
I dropped upon my knees, and gazed at him, now so old and wrinkled. I
leaped to my feet and the air whistled in my ears as I bounded down the
lane. I was struggling to run away from the knowledge that I had killed
him, but it kept up with me--showed me a jail and a gallows. I halted
when near the house, put my arm about a tree and stood there. The negro
cabins were dark, but a light burned in Young Master's room. The hour
was late. The creek was louder than I had ever heard it, a mockery, not
a music. A wind had sprung up and in the tree-tops there was a cold and
rasping whisper. I was striving to reach a decision as to what course
I should pursue. Undoubtedly I had killed the man or had thrown him so
that he might kill himself, but of this I had entertained no thought
at the time, my aim being to protect myself and to humiliate him, to
show him that I could turn and be his master. But I could not explain
this to the authorities, therefore I held no notion of giving myself
up. To run away were an acknowledgement of guilt, a brief inquiry and
the rope. I could make a flat denial, if accused, but was afraid that
I could not summon the nerve to maintain it. Still something must be
done. I might go to Mr. Clem, tell him the truth, get letters from him
to persons in the real land of the free and with his financial aid
make my escape out of the country. But this was blocked by the love I
bore my Young Master. I went to the well and washed my hands, although
I could find no blood on them, and the windlass was so loud with its
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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