Authors, English -- 20th century -- Biography; Waugh, Alec, 1898-1981
It is a pity, I always feel, that the producers make such little play
with this device. It could be infinitely diverting. There would be no
need for the broken things always to be made whole. It is amusing to see
a house that has been blown to atoms rise proudly out of the _débris_
into stately indestructibility. But it would be as amusing to see a team
of builders slowly, brick by brick, unbuild a mansion. The end would
always precede the start. This trick might even be made the vehicle for
subtle satire. A maid, for instance, would walk backwards into a tidy
drawing-room, and would litter the floor with cigarette ash, cover the
shelves with dust, and disturb the papers on your desk. Nor would it be
necessary for the producer to confine himself to material accidents. He
could describe thus the backward development of the emotions and the
sensations. Imagine, let us say, a day lived backwards, as the film
would show it you.
You would rise from your bed at midnight, and wearily put on your
evening clothes. You might discover that you were drunk, but though you
would spend the next two hours at a table with walnuts and wine in front
of you, the shells of the walnuts would become whole and the glass that
you raised to your lips would be empty; while the glass that you
replaced before you would be full. You would in fact rise from the table
sober. You would pass through curious states of mind. You would sit down
to read a book knowing the plot, the theme, the treatment; but, as you
read, this knowledge would pass page by page from you. And you would
rise from your armchair saying: “I’ve just got this new book by Michael
Sadleir from the library. I think I shall enjoy it.” It might be the
afternoon of an assignation. Languid and quiescent would you come to the
arms of love; vibrant and eager-eyed would you leap from them. As the
sun moved eastward, carrying you to three o’clock, you would find
yourself sitting warm and comfortable in the Café Royal, the stump of a
cigar between your fingers, an empty liqueur glass on the table. But in
two hours’ time you would be refolding a napkin and telling your guest
that you hoped he was as uncommonly hungry as you were.
And then you would be washing your hands. As you dried them they would
become less dry until they were quite wet, and you would place them,
white and glistening, into a basin of dirty water, and all the dirt from
the water would settle upon your hands, till the water was clean and
your hands were grubby: and when the water was quite clean you would
take your hands from it and they would become instantly dry and dirty
and uncomfortable. You would put on your coat and you would walk
backwards out of the restaurant towards your office.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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