"And to defend you, I had threatened the life of my father. When, on the
morrow, without addressing me a word of reproach, he showed me this
letter--this letter, which in every line revealed the blackness of your
heart, I could only fall on my knees and ask for pardon. Since that day I
have been pursued by unceasing remorse. Soon I left Germany on a long
journey; then commenced the penance which I imposed upon myself. It will
only finish with my life. To recompense the good, punish the bad, solace
those who suffer, probe all the wounds of humanity, to endeavor to snatch
souls from perdition--such is the noble task that I have imposed upon
myself."
"It is noble and holy; it is worthy of you."
"If I speak of this vow," replied Rudolph, with as much disdain as
bitterness; "of this vow, which I have fulfilled, according to my power,
wherever I have been, it is not to be praised by you. Listen to me, then.
Not long since I arrived in France; my sojourn in this country was not to
be lost to the expiation. In wishing to assist honest unfortunates, I also
wished to know those classes whom poverty crushes, hardens, and depraves,
knowing that timely succor and kind words have often saved many a poor
wretch from the abyss of despair. In order to be my own judge, I assumed
the disguise and language of the people whom I wished to observe. It was on
one of these excursions that, for the first time, I--I met--" Then, as if
he recoiled from this terrible revelation, Rudolph added, "No, no, I have
not the courage."
"What have you still to inform me?"
"You will only know it too soon; but," said he, with irony, "you feel so
lively an interest in the past that I ought to speak to you of events which
preceded my return to France. After a long journey, I returned to Germany;
I married a Prussian princess. During my absence, you had been driven away
from the grand duchy. Learning that you were married to Earl M'Gregor, I
wrote to entreat you to send me my child; you did not reply. In spite of
all my efforts, I could never find out where you had sent this unfortunate
child. Ten years ago only, a letter from you informed me that our child was
dead. Alas! would to God that she had then been dead; I should not have
known the incurable grief which henceforth will imbitter my life."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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