admirable library of the prince, who, you know, is one of the most learned
and best-informed men in Europe; frequently I returned to dine at the
palace, and on opera days I accompanied the grand ducal family to the
theater.
Every day passed like a dream: my cousin gradually came to treat me with a
true sisterly familiarity; she did not conceal from me the pleasure that
she felt in seeing me; she confided to me all that interested her. Two or
three times she begged me to accompany her when she went with the grand
duchess to visit the young orphans; often, also, she spoke to me of my
future plans with a maturity of reason, a serious and reflective interest,
that astonished me, coming from a girl of her age; she was very fond, too,
of inquiring of my infancy, and of my mother, alas! ever regretted. Every
time that I wrote to my father, she begged me to recall her to his
remembrance; then, for she embroidered to admiration, she gave me one day
for him a charming piece of tapestry, upon which she had worked for a long
time. What more shall I tell you, my friend? a brother and sister, meeting
again after a long separation, would not have enjoyed a sweeter intimacy.
Let me add that, when, by some unusual chance, we were left alone, the
entrance of a third could never have changed the subject, or even the
accent of our conversation. You will be perhaps astonished, my friend, at
this brotherly feeling between two young people, especially as you recall
what I have acknowledged to you; but the more confidence and familiarity my
cousin showed me, the more I watched over, the more I constrained myself,
for fear of putting an end to the adorable familiarity. And then, what
increased still more my reserve, the princess showed, in her intercourse
with me, so much frankness, so much noble confidence, and especially so
little coquetry, that I am almost certain that she has always been ignorant
of my violent passion, though there remains a slight doubt on this subject,
arising from a circumstance that I will relate immediately. If this
brotherly intercourse could always have lasted, perhaps this happiness
might have been sufficient for me; but even while I was enjoying this with
delight, I reflected that my service or the new career in which the prince
was inducing me to engage would soon call me to Vienna or abroad; I
reflected, in short that, presently, perhaps, the grand duke would think of
marrying his daughter in a manner worthy of her. These thoughts became the
more painful to me as the moment of my departure approached. My cousin soon
observed the change that was at work in me. The evening before the day I
left her, she told me for a long time she had found me gloomy and
abstracted. I endeavored to elude her questions; I attributed my sadness to
a vague ennui.
"I cannot believe you," said she to me; "my father treats you almost as a
son; everybody loves you; to be unhappy would be ingratitude."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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