On first leaving the house, I feel dashed and sobered. The inertness and
phlegmatic apathy of dry and ugly old age seem to weigh upon and press
down the passionate life of my youth, but I have not crossed a couple of
ploughed fields and seen the long slices newly ploughed, lying rich and
thick in the sun; I have not heard two staves of the throstle's loud
song, before I have recovered myself. I also begin to sing. I am not
very harmonious, perhaps, I never am; and I wander now and then from the
tune; but it is good enough for the stalking geese, my only audience,
except a ragged jackass, who, moved by my example, lifts his nose and
gives vent to a lengthy bray of infinite yearning.
I am half-way home now. I have reached the wood--Brindley Wood;
henceforth I am not very likely to forget its name. The path dips at
once and runs steeply down, till it reaches the bottom of the dell,
along which a quick brook runs darkling. In summer, when the leaves are
out, it is twilight here at high noonday. Hardly a peep of sky to be
seen through the green arch of oak and elm; but now, through the
net-work of wintry twigs one looks up, and sees the faint, far blue, for
the loss of which no leafage can compensate. Winter brownness above, but
a more than summer green below--the heyday riot of the mosses. Mossed
tree-trunks, leaning over the bustling stream; emerald moss carpets
between the bronze dead leaves; all manner of mosses; mosses with little
nightcaps; mosses like doll's ferns; mosses like plump cushions; and
upon them here and there blazes the glowing red of the small
peziza-cups.
I am still singing; and, as no wind reaches this shadowed hollow, I have
taken off my hat, and walk slowly along, swinging it in my hand. It is a
so little-frequented place, that I give an involuntary start, and my
song suddenly dies, when, on turning a corner, I come face to face with
another occupant. In a moment I recover myself. It is only Frank,
sitting on a great lichened stone, staring at the brook and the trees.
"You seem very cheerful!" he says, rising, stretching out his hand, and
not (as I afterward recollect) expressing the slightest surprise at our
unlikely rencontre. "I never heard you lift up your voice before."
"I seem what I am," reply I, shortly. "I _am_ cheerful."
"You mostly are."
"That is all that _you_ know about it," reply I, brusquely, rather
resenting the accusation. "I have not been _at all_ in good spirits all
this--this autumn and winter, not, that is, compared to what I usually
am."
"Have not you?"
"I _am_ in good spirits to-day, I grant you," continue I, more affably;
"it would be very odd if I were not. I should jump out of my skin if I
were quite sure of getting back into it again; I have had _such_ good
news."
"Have you? I wish _I_ had" (sighing). "What is it?"
"I will give you three guesses," say I, trying to keep grave, but
breaking out everywhere, as I feel, into badly-suppressed smiles.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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