"You mean about my walking up?" he says readily, and without the
slightest trace of guilty consciousness, indeed with a distinct and open
look of pleasure; "but, my darling, how could I tell how long she would
keep me? poor little woman!" (beginning to laugh and to put back the
hair from his tanned forehead). "I am afraid I did not bless her when I
saw her standing at her gate! I had half a mind to ask her whether
another time would not do as well, but she looked so eager to hear about
her husband--you know I have been seeing him at St. Thomas--such a
wistful little face--and I knew that she could not keep me more than ten
minutes; and, altogether when I thought of her loneliness and my own
luck--"
He breaks off.
"Are you so sure she _is_ lonely?" I say, with an innocent air of asking
for information, and still working hard at the button; "are people
always lonely when their husbands are away?"
He looks at me strangely for a moment; then, "Of course she is lonely,
poor little thing!" he says, warmly; "how could she help it?"
A slight pause.
"_Most_ men," say I, jealously, "would not have thought it a hardship to
walk up and down between the laurustinus with Mrs. Zéphine, I can tell
you!"
"Would not they?" he answers, indifferently. "I dare say not! she always
_was_ a good little thing!"
"Excellent!" reply I, with a nasty dryness, "bland, passionate, and
deeply religious!"
Again he looks at me in surprise--a surprise which, after a moment's
reflection, melts and brightens into an expression of pleasure.
"Did you care so much about my coming that ten minutes seemed to make a
difference?" he asks, in an eager voice. "Is it possible that you were
_in a hurry_ for me?"
Why cannot I speak truth, and say yes? Why does an objectlessly lying
devil make its inopportune entry into me? Through some misplaced and
crooked false shame I answer, "Not at all! not at all! of course a few
minutes one way or the other could not make much difference; I was only
puzzled to know what had become of you?"
He looks a shade disappointed, and for a moment we are both silent. We
have sat down side by side on the sofa. Vick is standing on her hinder
legs, with her forepaws rested on Roger's knee. Her tail is wagging with
the strong and untiring regularity of a pendulum, and a smirk of welcome
and recognition is on her face. Roger's arm is round me, and we are
holding each other's hands, but we are no longer in heaven. I could not
tell you _why_, but we are not. Some stupid constraint--quite of
earth--has fallen upon me. Where are all those most tender words, those
profuse endearments with which I meant to have greeted him?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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