He had always been a little afraid of Julia and had a secret desire, on
the rare occasions when they met, to hurt her in some way that might
force her to concede their equality. He called himself a mixture of pig
and child and when he met any of his wife's "high-brow" friends he
envied them and wanted to trick them into exhibiting something of the
pig also. Julia was young and pretty. He sighed and wished her more
"human". He had never found her so charming as she seemed to-night.
Under the accustomed stimulus of alcohol he relaxed most easily into a
mood of affectionate self-pity. Without being drunk in any perceptible
way, he loved himself and he loved every one, and his conviction of
human pathos was strong. Julia's tense yet curiously subdued manner
showed him that she was no longer oblivious to him. He fancied that
there was already between them that sudden _rapport_ which came between
him and women who were sexually sensible of his personality. "You aren't
angry with me for taking you away like this?"
Julia said, "How could I be? I wish all social gatherings were in the
open. It seems terrible to shut one's self indoors on these beautiful
nights."
Charles Hurst was impelled to talk about himself. He did not know how to
begin, and coughed embarrassedly. He imagined that Julia was ready to
hear, and already he was grateful for the regard he anticipated. "Don't
mind if I light a cigar?"
"I should like it."
"Don't smoke cigarettes, do you? Some of the ladies who come here
shedding sweetness and light are hard smokers."
Julia shook her head negatively. "I don't. But you surely can't object,
as a principle, to women smoking?"
"No. I think my objections are chiefly--chiefly what my wife--what
Catherine would call esthetic. I'm not strong on principles of any sort.
Don't take myself seriously enough."
Julia could make out his nonchalant angular pose as he stood looking
down at her. As he held a match to his cigar the glow on his face showed
his narrow regular features, his humorously ridiculing mouth, and his
pale eyes caught in an unconscious expression of fright.
Julia said, "I'm afraid you take yourself very seriously indeed, or you
wouldn't be so perpetually on the defensive." Poor Mr. Hurst! This
evening she could not bear to be isolated by conventional reserves, even
with him. It flattered her unhappiness to feel that he was a child. And
this evening it seemed to her desperately necessary that she touch
something living which would respond involuntarily to the contact.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account