Mr. Hurst was disconcerted. He took the cigar out of his mouth and
examined the glowing tip which dilated in the dark as he stared at it.
Tears had all at once come to his eyes. He wondered if he were drunker
than he had imagined. The moment he suspected any one of a serious
interest in him it robbed him of his aplomb. "Don't read me too well,
Mrs. Farley. You know I'm not really much of a person. Coarse-fibered
American type. No interests beyond business and all that. Good poker
player. Hell of a good friend--when you let him. But commonplace. Damn
commonplace. Nothing worth while at all from your point of view."
They strolled along the path further into the shadows. Julia was
astonished by the ill-concealed emotion in Mr. Hurst's humorous voice.
His transparency momentarily assuaged the tortures of her
self-distrust. "How can you say that? My human predilections are not
narrowed down to any particular type, I hope."
"Oh, well, I know--you and Catherine--miles over my head, all of it.
Lectures on the Fourth Dimension. Some girl with adenoids here the other
night been studying 'Einstein'. Damned if it had done her any good. Yes,
what that gal needed was somebody to hug her." Julia was conscious that
he was turning toward her. "Crass outlook, eh?" He laughed
apologetically.
"She probably did," Julia said. They laughed together.
Mr. Hurst felt all at once unreasoningly depressed. He wanted to touch
her as a child wants to touch the person who pleases it. But the
sophisticated element in his nature intervened. He despised his own
simplicity. "Do you find yourself getting anywhere in the pursuit of the
good, the true, and the beautiful? Honestly now, Mrs. Farley. I've had
the whole program shoved at me--not that Catherine isn't the best of
women, bless her little soul. You know the life we tired business men
lead pretty much resembles that of the good old steady pack horse that
does the work. We dream about green pastures and all that, but never
get much closer to it. And when you get to the end of things you begin
to wonder if your plodding did anybody any good--if anything ever did
anybody any good. I've got no use for cynicism--consider it damn cheap.
Wish some time I was a little bit more of a cynic. But I'm lost.
Hopelessly lost. I take a highball every now and then because my--I
think my mind hurts." He halted suddenly and they were looking into each
other's vague faces. "This talk getting too damn serious, eh? Something
about you to-night that invites a fellow to make a fool of himself."
"I hope not," Julia said. "I like you for talking frankly."
"Oh, I'm not too damn frank. We can't afford it in this world of hard
knocks. Now to you, now, I'm not saying all that I'd like to, by a
jugful."
"Then you don't make as much of a distinction between me and the crowd
as I hoped."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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