Narrative and Miscellaneous PapersDe Quincey, Thomas
General
Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; English fiction
Political economy was not Coleridge's forte. In politics he was happier.
In mere personal politics, he (like every man when reviewed from a
station distant by forty years) will often appear to have erred; nay,
he will be detected and nailed in error. But this is the necessity of us
all. Keen are the refutations of time. And absolute results to posterity
are the fatal touchstone of opinions in the past. It is undeniable,
besides, that Coleridge had strong personal antipathies, for instance,
to Messrs. Pitt and Dundas. Yet _why_, we never could understand. We
once heard him tell a story upon Windermere, to the late Mr. Curwen,
then M. P. for Workington, which was meant, apparently, to account
for this feeling. The story amounted to this; that, when a freshman at
Cambridge, Mr. Pitt had wantonly amused himself at a dinner party
in Trinity, in smashing with filberts (discharged in showers like
grape-shot) a most costly dessert set of cut glass, from which
Samuel Taylor Coleridge argued a principle of destructiveness in his
_cerebellum_. Now, if this dessert set belonged to some poor suffering
Trinitarian, and not to himself, we are of opinion that he was faulty,
and ought, upon his own great subsequent maxim, to have been coerced
into 'indemnity for the past, and security for the future.' But, besides
that this glassy _mythus_ belongs to an æra fifteen years earlier than
Coleridge's so as to justify a shadow of scepticism, we really cannot
find, in such an _escapade_ under the boiling blood of youth, any
sufficient justification of that withering malignity towards the name
of Pitt, which runs through Coleridge's famous _Fire, Famine,
and Slaughter_. As this little viperous _jeu-d'esprit_ (published
anonymously) subsequently became the subject of a celebrated
after-dinner discussion in London, at which Coleridge (_comme de
raison_) was the chief speaker, the reader of this generation may wish
to know the question at issue; and in order to judge of _that_, he must
know the outline of this devil's squib. The writer brings upon the scene
three pleasant young ladies, viz., Miss Fire, Miss Famine, and Miss
Slaughter. 'What are you up to? What's the row?'--we may suppose to
be the introductory question of the poet. And the answer of the ladies
makes us aware that they are fresh from larking in Ireland, and
in France. A glorious spree they had; lots of fun; and laughter _a
discretion_. At all times _gratus puellæ risus ab angulo_; so that we
listen to their little gossip with interest. They had been setting
men, it seems, by the ears; and the drollest little atrocities they do
certainly report. Not but we have seen better in the Nenagh paper, so
far as Ireland is concerned. But the pet little joke was in La Vendee.
Miss Famine, who is the girl for our money, raises the question--whether
any of them can tell the name of the leader and prompter to these high
jinks of hell--if so, let her whisper it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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