Narrative and Miscellaneous PapersDe Quincey, Thomas
General
Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; English fiction
First came Dr. Andrew Bell. We knew him. Was he dull? Is a wooden spoon
dull? Fishy were his eyes; torpedinous was his manner; and his main
idea, out of two which he really had, related to the moon--from which
you infer, perhaps, that he was lunatic. By no means. It was no craze,
under the influence of the moon, which possessed him; it was an idea of
mere hostility to the moon. The Madras people, like many others, had an
idea that she influenced the weather. Subsequently the Herschels,
senior and junior, systematized this idea; and then the wrath of Andrew,
previously in a crescent state, actually dilated to a plenilunar orb.
The Westmoreland people (for at the lakes it was we knew him) expounded
his condition to us by saying that he was 'maffled;' which word means
'perplexed in the extreme.' His wrath did not pass into lunacy; it
produced simple distraction; an uneasy fumbling with the idea; like that
of an old superannuated dog who longs to worry, but cannot for want of
teeth. In this condition you will judge that he was rather tedious. And
in this condition Coleridge took him up. Andrew's other idea, because he
_had_ two, related to education. Perhaps six-sevenths of that also came
from Madras. No matter, Coleridge took _that_ up; Southey also; but
Southey with his usual temperate fervor. Coleridge, on the other
hand, found celestial marvels both in the scheme and in the man. Then
commenced the apotheosis of Andrew Bell: and because it happened that
his opponent, Lancaster, between ourselves, really _had_ stolen his
ideas from Bell, what between the sad wickedness of Lancaster and the
celestial transfiguration of Bell, gradually Coleridge heated himself to
such an extent, that people, when referring to that subject, asked each
other, 'Have you heard Coleridge lecture on _Bel and the Dragon_?'
The next man glorified by Coleridge was John Woolman, the Quaker. Him,
though we once possessed his works, it cannot be truly affirmed that
we ever read. Try to read John, we often did; but read John we did not.
This, however, you say, might be our fault, and not John's. Very likely.
And we have a notion that now, with our wiser thoughts, we _should_ read
John, if he were here on this table. It is certain that he was a good
man, and one of the earliest in America, if not in Christendom, who
lifted up his hand to protest against the slave-trade. But still, we
suspect, that had John been all that Coleridge represented, he would
not have repelled us from reading his travels in the fearful way that he
did. But, again, we beg pardon, and entreat the earth of Virginia to lie
light upon the remains of John Woolman; for he was an Israelite, indeed,
in whom there was no guile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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