Narrative and Miscellaneous PapersDe Quincey, Thomas
General
Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; English fiction
A necessity, more painful to me by far than that of taking continued
exercise, arose out of a cause which applies, perhaps, with the same
intensity only to opium cases, but must also apply in some degree to all
cases of debilitation from morbid stimulation of the nerves, whether
by means of wine, or opium, or distilled liquors. In travelling on the
outside of mails, during my youthful days, for I could not endure the
inside, occasionally, during the night-time, I suffered naturally from
cold: no cloaks, &c. were always sufficient to relieve this; and I then
made the discovery that opium, after an hour or so, diffuses a warmth
deeper and far more permanent than could be had from any other known
source. I mention this, to explain, in some measure, the awful passion
of cold which for some years haunted the inverse process of laying aside
the opium. It was a perfect frenzy of misery; cold was a sensation which
then first, as a mode of torment, seemed to have been revealed. In
the months of July and August, and not at all the less during the very
middle watch of the day, I sate in the closest proximity to a blazing
fire; cloaks, blankets, counterpanes, hearthrugs, horse-cloths, were
piled upon my shoulders, but with hardly a glimmering of relief. At
night, and after taking coffee, I felt a little warmer, and could
sometimes afford to smile at the resemblance of my own case to that of
Harry Gill. [Footnote: 'Harry Gill:'--Many readers, in this generation,
may not be aware of this ballad as one amongst the early poems of
Wordsworth. Thirty or forty years ago, it was the object of some insipid
ridicule, which ought, perhaps, in another place, to be noticed. And,
doubtless, this ridicule was heightened by the false impression that
the story had been some old woman's superstitious fiction, meant to
illustrate a supernatural judgment on hard-heartedness. But the story
was a physiologic fact; and, originally, it had been brought forward in
a philosophic work, by Darwin, who had the reputation of an irreligious
man, and even of an infidel. A bold freethinker he certainly was: a
Deist, and, by public repute, something more.] But, secretly, I was
struck with awe at the revelation of powers so unsearchably new, lurking
within old affections so familiarly known as cold. Upon the analogy of
this case, it might be thought that nothing whatever had yet been
truly and seriously felt by man; nothing searched or probed by human
sensibilities, to a depth below the surface. If cold could give out
mysteries of suffering so novel, all things in the world might be yet
unvisited by the truth of human sensations. All experience, worthy of
the name, was yet to begin. Meantime, the external phenomenon, by which
the cold expressed itself, was a sense (but with little reality) of
eternal freezing perspiration. From this I was never free; and at
length, from finding one general ablution sufficient for one day, I was
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