Narrative and Miscellaneous PapersDe Quincey, Thomas
General
Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; English fiction
IX. One final remark I will make:--pointed to the case, not of the yet
struggling patient, but of him who is fully re-established; and the more
so, because I (who am no hypocrite, but, rather, frank to an infirmity)
acknowledge, in myself, the trembling tendency at intervals, which
would, if permitted, sweep round into currents that might be hard to
overrule. After the absolute restoration to health, a man is very apt to
say,--'Now, then, how shall I use my health? To what delightful purpose
shall I apply it? Surely it is idle to carry a fine jewel in one's
watch-pocket, and never to astonish the weak minds of this world,
by wearing it and flashing it in their eyes.' 'But how?' retorts his
philosophic friend; 'my good fellow, are you not using it at this
moment? Breathing, for instance, talking to me, (though rather
absurdly,) and airing your legs at a glowing fire?' 'Why, yes,' the
other confesses, 'that is all true; but I am dull; and, if you will
pardon my rudeness, even in spite of your too philosophic presence. It
is painful to say so, but sincerely, if I had the power, at this moment,
to turn you, by magic, into a bottle of old port wine, so corrupt is
my nature, that really I fear lest the exchange might, for the moment,
strike me as agreeable.' Such a mood, I apprehend, is apt to revolve
upon many of us, at intervals, however firmly married to temperance. And
the propensity to it has a root in certain analogies running through
our nature. If the reader will permit me for a moment the use of what,
without such an apology, might seem pedantic, I would call it the
instinct of _focalizing_, which prompts such random desires. Feeling is
diffused over the whole surface of the body; but light is focalized in
the eye; sound in the ear. The organization of a sense or a pleasure
seems diluted and imperfect, unless it is gathered by some machinery
into one focus, or local centre. And thus it is that a general state of
pleasurable feeling sometimes seems too superficially diffused, and one
has a craving to intensify or brighten it by concentration through some
sufficient stimulant. I, for my part, have tried every thing in this
world except '_bang_,' which, I believe, is obtained from hemp. There
are other preparations of hemp which have been found to give great
relief from _ennui_; not ropes, but something lately introduced, which
acts upon the system as the laughing gas (nitrous oxide) acts at times.
One farmer in Mid-Lothian was mentioned to me, eight months ago, as
having taken it, and ever since annoyed his neighbors by immoderate
fits of laughter; so that in January it was agreed to present him to the
sheriff as a nuisance. But, for some reason, the plan was laid aside;
and now, eight months later, I hear that the farmer is laughing more
rapturously than ever, continues in the happiest frame of mind, the
kindest of creatures, and the general torment of his neighborhood. Now,
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