so trivial a circumstance, how much more unhappy shall I be, if I be cast into everlasting burnings, where I shall not have one drop of water to cool my tongue! This broke the delusion, but it did not eradicate it. An infectious fever broke out among us. It was at first slow in its progress, but after a short time it began to infect numbers. Our condition on board the Stately contributed towards it; for we had no hammocks, nor beds, but only our camp blankets to sleep in; we lay upon the under deck, and, when the weather was stormy, so much water leaked in by the edges of the ports, as made the lee side of the ship very wet. When she tacked, the water that was lying in the lee side would then run across the whole deck; and although we dried it the best way we could, yet we were so crowded that we were often under the necessity of lying down upon the damp deck. This was hurtful to us, causing us to feel stiff, and our bones sore; and although it did not _produce_ the fever, (for it was introduced by some recruits who came on board at Malta,) it was, in my opinion, one cause of its spreading so rapidly at last. I caught this fever at the time it began to spread, and it was pretty severe upon me. I got better, and relapsed, and the second turn of it was worse than the first.[5] While under it I had time to consider myself more fully. My present condition was so painful, that I would have done all in my power, and given all I could possess, to be free from it; and yet with my most sanguine hopes, I could not expect hell to be one half so tolerable. What, thought I, is the glory of God to me as a creature? If that same glory only renders me miserable, will the misery of my condition if I am sent to hell, be in any measure alleviated, by the consideration, that the justice of God is glorified by my condemnation? It is true, I shall not cease to exist; but what pleasure can I have in my existence, unless I reap some benefit by it, by having some portion of happiness in it? If I am made completely miserable, and have no prospect of any portion of happiness for the future, my existence must prove my greatest misery. He who knows all things has said, "Good were it for that man, if he had never been born." If the justice of God dooms me to suffer for my sins, woe is me! I now exist, and I can not annihilate myself; nor can I fly from God's justice. I am a sinner, and if I receive not mercy, I must be for ever miserable! How awful is his justice! How great is his power! How daring and delusive the thought of hoping to find any portion of happiness in that place, where he has declared all is perfect misery; where nothing dwells but the terrors of the Almighty; where the subjects of his justice are a terror to themselves, and to each other; where there is nothing but weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!