[12] The reader may quite naturally think that there was a great inconsistency displayed here; first talking of the religion of Jesus, and then rushing immediately into a breach of that sacred command, "Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy;" now, was not playing on a musical instrument directly opposed to this precept? I answer that it certainly was; but you may believe me that it was necessity, and not choice on my part, that forced me to do it; and the first time I played the fife upon the Lord's day going to church, after I joined the 26th, I was in such a state of perturbation that I could not play a note, although I kept the fife to my mouth, and moved my fingers as if I was as busy as any of them. Thus we may see that although any sin may, upon its first commission, cause great pain to the conscience, yet the more frequently it is repeated, the more natural it becomes, for this uneasiness had left me long before the time I allude to. We had therefore much need to guard against sin in whatever form it appears, for it hath been justly said, that "he who despiseth small things shall fall by little and little;" but I am of opinion that the malignity of my crime consisted principally in not weighing these things, before I came into this state of subjection; for I was not ignorant that this was a part of a fifer's duty in the army; but although I will not attempt to justify my conduct; yet this I will say, that I could earnestly wish that my mind had been always as well employed when I have professedly been worshipping God, as it has been when engaged in this musical employment, after my blessed affliction in the Prince of Wales's Island; for I have often been so full of the topics we had been conversing about, as to be unable to know whether I was playing or not, until the rest of the corps, (as is common in these cases, after the tune is played over two or three times,) waited to hear if I was going to change it, and the sound thus dying away, it would immediately strike me that I was so engaged; and you may think it strange, when I tell you, that I never recollect in one instance of even making a mistake, for when I would come to myself, I was playing with the greatest fluency, although I acknowledge that I have been taken sometimes so short, that I was obliged to repeat the tune once more than I perhaps would have done, not being provided in my own mind with another in time.