"Here," said I to my heart, "learn how to make the heavy load of iron
cares easy." One day she passed with a bag of sand. On her return she
called on me. I inquired how much Mrs. ---- gave her for the sand.
She was unwilling to tell, and I feared she was unwilling lest I
should withhold my accustomed mite, on account of what she had already
received; I therefore insisted she should let me see.
She at length consented, and I drew from the bag a bone, not containing
meat enough for half a meal. "Is this all? Did that rich woman turn
you off so? How cruel, how hard-hearted!" I exclaimed. "Misse," she
replied, "this made me 'fraid let you see it; I 'fraid you would be
angry: I hope she have bigger heart next time, only she forget now that
Jesus promise to pay her all she give Sarah. Don't be angry, I pray God
to give her a great deal bigger heart."
The conviction, that she possessed, in an eminent degree, the Spirit
of Him who said, "Bless them that curse you," and prayed for His
murderers, rushed upon my mind with energy, and I could compare myself
in some measure to those who said, "Shall we command fire to come
down from heaven," etc. I think I never felt deeper self-abhorrence
and abasement; I left her for a moment, and from the few comforts I
possessed, gave her a considerable portion.
She received them with the most visible marks of gratitude--arose to
depart, went to the door, and then turned, looking me in the face with
evident concern. "Sarah," said I, "what would you have?" (supposing she
wanted something I had not thought of, and she feared to ask). "Oh, my
good misse!" said she, "nothing; only 'fraid your big heart feel some
proud 'cause you give more for nothing than Misse ---- for sand."
This faithfulness, added to her piety and gratitude, completed the
swell of feeling already rising in my soul; and bursting into tears, I
said, "O Sarah! when you pray that Mrs. ---- may have a bigger heart,
don't forget to pray that I may have an humbler one." "I will, misse, I
will," she exclaimed with joy, and hastened on her way.
Another excellence in her character, was, that she loved the habitation
of God's house, and often appeared there, when, from bad weather or
other causes, many a seat of affluence was empty. She was always early,
ever clean and whole in her apparel, though sometimes almost as much
diversified with patches as the shepherd's coat.
She was very old and quite feeble, yet she generally stood during
public service, with eyes riveted on the preacher. I have sometimes
overtaken her on the steps, after service, and tapping her on her
shoulder, would say, "Have you had a good day, Sarah?" "All good;
sweeter than honey," she would reply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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