Having called one day after he had passed a sleepless and languishing
night, I found him, with the Bible fixed before him, reading. He looked
animated, and said, "I always loved to read the Bible, but I never
understood it until very lately; now I understand it, and I find that
religion and pleasure are in no way inconsistent. I feel now that I
shall never recover. I am willing to die, and I shall be happy when
I am gone from earth--but the Lord is very merciful, and can make me
happy as long as He chooses that I should stay. I have trusted in Him
through pain and through want, and I believe He will never forsake
me. My Fifth has sometimes been closely tried, but I never let go my
confidence."
His disease now rapidly increased, and with it his suffering. On
the 23d of Fifth month, he conversed a long time with the doctor,
and seemed more comfortable than usual; but he passed a sleepless
and distressing night. The next day, he was able to take but little
nourishment, owing to the great soreness of his mouth and throat, but
he could converse intelligibly, and seemed anxious to do so. About two
o'clock this day, I found him in great pain, but quite tranquil in mind.
On my going to him, he said, "My sufferings are now nearly over; I
shall not live many days--not more than two. The Lord's time has nearly
come, and then He will take me where I shall never suffer any more. O,
how marvellous His mercy is, to look down upon such a polluted sinner
as I am!
'I the worst of sinners am,
But Jesus came to save me.'--
Yes, He will save me--I know it. I have a hope--a pretty certain
hope--O, it is a very certain hope--it is a very sure hope." He then in
a low and indistinct voice, supplicated for many minutes; after which
he said, "I have been talking to my Saviour."
Not expecting him to hear, I asked his mother if he had always been a
serious boy; but before she could reply, George said, "No! I was always
bad, always wicked; but since I was brought to this bed of sickness,
I have sought for repentance, and I have found it: my sins were as
scarlet, but now they are washed as white as snow. But it is all mercy,
pure mercy; we have no righteousness of our own to depend upon--no
works, no merit of our own will avail us at such a time as this. If
these were all we had to look to, we should never be saved. But this
is what Jesus came into the world for--to save us poor sinners; and
salvation belongs to Him alone."
After this, he desired me to read to him in the Bible--said he would
like to hear me read in the Psalms, where David deplored his sins. I
did so, and he afterward composed himself and slept a few minutes; but
the pain soon awoke him, and he said, "I hope my patience will hold
out--I must not get impatient so near the end."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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