As soon as I had been served in the divorce action I began suit on my own account to cancel this trust agreement. It had always been a nuisance even in the days when wife and fond mama were at their loving-est! Now it was imperative that I be allowed to handle my own property alone. The settlement of that action was a long, drawn-out affair as compared with the divorce action. During the several months before my wife finally won (?) her case the newspapers were filled daily with sensational articles about my affairs with women I had never even seen! It seemed to me as if the gentlemen of the press just published any and every photograph of a pretty woman they could find and named her as one of the unfortunate objects of my attentions. In spite of this my wife's able counsel had been able to present no facts to the Referee that could justify him in recommending a decree in her favor--up to the Tuesday before the Saturday on which he was to render his decision. It never dawned on me that this was the case until my dear old friend, Jim Killduff, who had been following the suit more closely than I had came to me that Tuesday night and congratulated me! "You're winning so easily, it's a laugh," he exclaimed. "Winning?" I echoed feebly. "Do you mean she isn't going to get her divorce?" "She hasn't a chance on earth," replied Jim gleefully. "Every charge she has made against you has been stricken from the Referee's record." "Good Lord," I gasped, "she's got to win! It's the only way I can ever get this trust agreement busted!" The result of our conversation I can not set forth in detail. The fact remains, however, that before that next Saturday the Referee had presented to him the evidence necessary to make his course of duty plain--and once again the newspapers had grounds (?) for proclaiming me a disciple of Solomon! Between you and me, gentle reader, Justice must have had to tighten that bandage about her eyes when she learned of that decree! She surely must have loosened it laughing! I can say, however, that it is a most expensive luxury--being divorced! It's much cheaper to use the active voice of that verb! * * * * * Marriages are made in heaven--canceled in Reno. * * * * * I have had many sweethearts, but only one survives--my mother. * * * * * If a man steal your wife don't kill him--caution him! _Chapter LXXIII_ SIR BEERBOHM TREE A most extraordinary man is Beerbohm Tree. Refined, almost aesthetic in manner yet as worldly and practical as the most prosaic merchant. His humor is human if a bit cynical. He has the manner of a dreamer and an eye like a City man or an American gambler. Among those he loves he is nothing but a boy with a boyish simplicity but when he is surrounded by uninteresting acquaintances he suggests a German philosopher or Danish poet--in his impenetrable reserve! A clever man is Beerbohm Tree and I like him.