His nature had its hard, practical business side, but he had never been
content with questions of mere profit and loss. He not only had wanted the
corn, but the secret of the corn's growth and existence. To search into
Nature's hidden life, so that he could see through her outward forms the
mechanism back of all, and trace endless diversity to simple inexorable
laws, had been his pride and the promised solace of his life. His love of
the rose had been to him what it is to many another hard-working man and
woman--recreation, a habit, something for which he had developed the taste
and feeling of a connoisseur. It had had no appreciable influence on the
current of his thoughts. Amy's coming, however, had awakened the poetic
side of his temperament, and, while this had taken nothing from the old, it
had changed everything. Before, his life had been like nature in winter,
when all things are in hard, definite outline. The feeling which she had
inspired brought the transforming flowers and foliage. It was an immense
addition to that which already existed, and which formed the foundation for
it. For a long time he had exulted in this inflorescence of his life, as it
were, and was more than content. He did not know that the spirit gifted
even unconsciously with the power thus to develop his own nature must soon
become to him more than a cause of an effect, more than a sister upon whom
he could look with as tranquil eyes and even pulse in youth as in frosty
age. But now he knew it with the absolute certainty that was characteristic
of his mind when once it grasped a truth. The voice of Burt calling
"Amy," after the experiences of the day, had been like a shaft of light,
instantly revealing everything. For her sake more than his own he had
exerted himself to the utmost to conceal the truth of that moment of bitter
consciousness. He trembled as he thought of his blind, impetuous words and
her look of surprise; he grew cold with dread as he remembered how easily
he might have betrayed himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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