But he could not thus dismiss the past so far as Amy was concerned, the
orphan girl in his own home to whom he had promised fealty. What would be
his feeling toward another man who had promised so much and had proved
fickle? What would the inmates of his own home say? What would even his
gentle mother, of whom he had made a confidante, think of him? Would not
a look of pain, or, even worse, of scorn, come into Amy's eyes? He did
love her dearly; he respected her still more as the embodiment of truth
and delicacy. From Miss Hargrove's manner he knew that Amy had never
gossiped about him, as he felt sure nine-tenths of his acquaintances
would have done. He also believed that she was taking him at his word,
like the rest of the family, and that she was looking forward to the
future that he had once so ardently desired. The past had taught him that
she was not one to fall tumultuously in love, but rather that she would
let a quiet and steady flame kindle in her heart, to last through life.
She had proved herself above hasty and resentful jealousy, but she had,
nevertheless, warned him on the mountain, and had received the renewed
manifestations of his loyalty as a matter of course. Since his rescue of
her friend in the morning her eyes had often sought his with a lustre so
gentle and approving that he felt guilty, and cursed himself for a fickle
wretch. Cost him what it might, he must be true to her.
She, little divining his tragic mood, which, with the whole force of his
will, he sought to disguise, gave him an affectionate good-night kiss as
she said, "Dear Burt, how happily the day has ended, after all!--and we
know the reason why."
"Yes, Burt," added Webb; "no man ever did a braver thing."
His father's hearty praise, and even his mother's grateful and almost
passionate embrace, only added to his deep unrest. As he went to his room
he groaned, "If they only knew!"
After very little and troubled sleep he awoke on the following morning
depressed and exhausted. Mental distress was a new experience, and he
showed its effects; but he made light of it, as the result of
over-excitement and fatigue. He felt that Nature harmonized with his
mood, for he had scarcely ever looked upon a gloomier sky. Yet, strange
to say, no rain had fallen. It seemed as if the malign spell could not be
broken. The wind that had been whirling the dust in clouds all night long
grew fitful, and died utterly away, while the parched earth and withered
herbage appeared to look at the mocking clouds in mute, despairing
appeal. How could they be so near, so heavy, and yet no rain? The air was
sultry and lifeless. Fall had come, but no autumn days as yet.
Experienced Mr. Clifford looked often at the black, lowering sky, and
predicted that a decided change was at hand.
"My fear is," he added, "that the drought may be followed by a deluge. I
don't like the looks of the clouds in the southeast."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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