The former had just returned, apparently gayer than ever. His face was
bronzed from his out-door life in the Adirondacks. Its expression was
also resolute, and his eyes turned oftenest toward Amy, with a determined
loyalty. As has been said, not long after the experiences following the
storm, he had yielded to his impulse to go away and recover his poise. He
felt that if he continued to see Miss Hargrove frequently he might reveal
a weakness which would lead not only Amy to despise him, but also Miss
Hargrove, should she become aware of the past. As he often took such
outings, the family, with the exception of Webb and Amy, thought nothing
of it. His brother and the girl he had wooed so passionately now
understood him well enough to surmise his motive, and Amy had thought,
"It will do him good to go away and think awhile, but it will make no
difference; this new affair must run its course also." And yet her heart
began to relent toward him after a sisterly fashion. She wondered if Miss
Hargrove did regard him as other than a friend to whom she owed very
much. If so, she smiled at the idea of standing in the way of their
mutual happiness. She had endured his absence with exceeding tranquillity,
for Webb had given her far more of his society, and she, Alf, and Johnnie
often went out and aided him in gathering the fruit. For some reason these
light tasks had been more replete with quiet enjoyment than deliberate
pleasure-seeking.
Burt had been at pains to take, in Amy's presence, a most genial and
friendly leave of Miss Hargrove, but there was no trace of the lover in
his manner. His smiles and cordial words had chilled her heart, and had
strengthened the fear that in some way he was bound to Amy. She knew that
she had fascinated and perhaps touched him deeply, but imagined she saw
indications of an allegiance that gave little hope for the future. If he
felt as she did, and were free, he would not have gone away; and when he
had gone, time grew leaden-footed. Absence is the touchstone, and by its
test she knew that her father was right, and that she, to whom so much
love had been given unrequited, had bestowed hers apparently in like
manner. Then had come an invitation to join a yachting party to Fortress
Monroe, and she had eagerly accepted. With the half-reckless impulse of
pride, she had resolved to throw away the dream that had promised so
much, and yet had ended in such bitter and barren reality. She would
forget it all in one brief whirl of gayety; and she had been the
brilliant life of the party. But how often her laugh had ended in a
stifled sigh! How often her heart told her, "This is not happiness, and
never can be again!" Her brief experience of what is deep and genuine in
life taught her that she had outgrown certain pleasures of the past, as a
child outgrows its toys, and she had returned thoroughly convinced that
her remedy was not in the dissipations of society.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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