Christmas day dawned bright and cold, with a whip of north-west wind and
a skiff of loose snow sifting across the frozen prairies. I found myself
lying awake in the morning, thinking of Jean, and of all I had hoped
that day would mean to me. This was the dream that was gone; the picture
I had had to tear out of my heart, only it would not stay gone; it
plagued me in my sleep, it haunted me in every silent moment of the day.
That Jean should be so strong, so set, so immovable, and, as it seemed
to me, so unreasonable, in spite of all her delicate wistfulness and
strange uncommonness of spirit--that was a side of Jean's character
which all the years of our childhood and youth had not revealed to me. .
. I had not re-opened my suit. I had accepted her decision. But the old
picture would come back, and this Christmas morning as it swam before my
eyes it stirred within me an immeasurable poignancy of spirit.
"Merry Christmas!" shouted Marjorie, poking her head into my room.
Marjorie was going through a time of strangely mixed emotions. Her heart
was light on her own account and heavy on mine, and in these days she
found the bridge between laughter and tears an extremely narrow one.
Perhaps it was for that reason that her shout of "Merry Christmas!"
ended in something like a sob, and, with a little rush, she plunged on
to my bed and threw her arms about me; she wrapped them around my neck
and shoulders and drew my face to hers. And as her cheek lay against
mine a little warm trickle of moisture wended its way down, upon, and
across my lips, and I felt her frame tremble as it rested near me.
"Not crying, Marjorie; not crying, on this of all mornings!" I
exclaimed, although my own throat was full. "Not crying, dear--on my
account?"
To that question she snuggled closer, and after a little I heard her
whispering in my ear. "It will come all right in time, Brother mine,"
she said; "all right in time. I can't think--I can't believe--anything
else. Don't you feel--don't you _know_--that it will?" And so to soothe
her, and that her greatest day might not be spoiled, I said I knew it
would come all right in time, but there was a stone between my lungs and
a band of iron about my chest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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