There was the possibility that she had been overcome; that even now she
was lying somewhere on the white snow, her white, cold face turned to a
white, cold sky, her lithe little body, no longer lithe, forming the
occasion for a drift which the sifting wind had already seized as
convenient to its purpose. . . . . . . The sweat trickled down from
under my cap and I pulled it off and let the comforting snow fall on my
forehead. And now I used my eyes more than ever before, to detect, if I
might, any object lying on the snow. Dark specks loomed up through the
mist, and many a detour I made with pounding heart, to find only a
prairie boulder or a lump of tumbleweed blown into a wolf willow.
Again, Jean might have reached Spoof's. That was going to be the most
difficult possibility of all. What should I do? I fingered the weapon in
my pocket, but I knew that that was nonsense. If Jean had gone to Spoof
she had done so of her own free will; she need not account for herself
to me; she might even resent my interference. Spoof might order me out
as a meddling busybody; he might subject me to the torture of taking
Jean from me before my very eyes. I was even less than Jack; had I been
her brother I could have held him to accountability. But I would not be
ordered out; I would not be abased----Surely I had a right. I was her
friend, her neighbour. . . .
Her neighbour. "Perhaps that is the trouble," she had said.
I fingered my revolver affectionately. I was glad I had brought it.
I looked at my watch. It was twenty minutes after nine. I had been fool
enough to start without noting the time, and had no idea how far I had
travelled. Surely I should be near Spoof's now.
But our engagement had never been quite cancelled. Or had it? I tried to
recall, but my mind blurred. Once we were engaged; we were to have been
married before this time; Jean and I were to have been married at
Christmas. Then Spoof. I was not clever enough for her . . . . . .
Perhaps Spoof would be, I thought, and hated myself for thinking it.
Perhaps she was right. I _was_ a good bit of a dub. Never read much,
never thought much. Bounded by the corner stakes of Fourteen. An ox.
Jean had as much as called me an ox. Thinking more about oats than
sunsets.
Didn't even mention her new cap. When I did I turned my compliment
upside down; pinned it to the cap, instead of to her. Spoof would not
have done that.
Our poem. The snow would be deep on it now. Or perhaps not. It might
have whipped clear. If--if anything happened to Jean I would go to that
poem, I would yearn over it, I would caress it, I would lean upon
it----It was snow, and would be gone in the spring. Something about
keeping her guessing. I was to keep her guessing. Well, she was keeping
me guessing just now, with a vengeance!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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