"Nequa, I am glad to find you in tears. They will give you relief
as nothing else can. I knew you needed a friend, and I have come to
constitute myself that friend. Now listen to me. I knew from the first
that you were a woman and that Captain Ganoe did not suspect anything
of the kind. I further discerned that there was a hidden chord which
drew you to him and yet for some reason you dare not reveal yourself to
him. This secret is wearing your life away. You must tell me all about
it and I can, and I will, help you to bear it. When we look at things
philosophically and see them on all sides, just as they are, there is
no wound of body, mind or spirit that may not be healed. There is no
wrong that is not too limited in its scope to effect any permanent
injury. Our bounteous mother, nature, has provided a healing balm for
every wound if we will but search for it with the right spirit."
I could not be mistaken as to the spirit and purposes of this noble
woman, nor resist her entreaties. She had penetrated my disguise and
read my secret and I had every reason to respect her judgment. For
years I had carried my burdens alone. Under the weight of the wrongs
imposed upon me I had sought relief from the burden of grief in the
exercise of an indomitable will, in a vain effort to force my heart
to become, if need be, as cold as ice, and as hard as adamant. But it
could not be. I was forced to realize that
"There can be no philosophy
Which steels the heart 'gainst ev'ry bitter woe;
'Tis not in nature, and it cannot be;
We cannot rend the heart, and not a throe
Of agony, tell how it feels a blow."
And now this agony, which I had carried so long, concealed under the
smiling countenance of an assumed character, had forced a recognition.
This was nature's demand for human sympathy and the kind and loving
heart of Oqua was here to respond. Much as I had desired to keep my
sorrow deep buried in my own bosom. I could not repel this noble woman
whose keen intuition had already divined my secret. I felt the need of
just such sympathy as hers, and why should I spurn it from me? My soul
went out to her and I felt impelled by some irresistible impulse to
clasp her to my bosom and tell her all.
My heart was breaking with the silent misery that it had carried for
years, unshared by a single human being, and which I resolved should
be carried unobserved to the grave. Again I resolved anew that I would
not even share it with this noble, sympathizing woman, but nature's
floodgates, once opened for the outpouring of long suppressed sorrow,
close no more to force it back upon the surcharged heart, and before
I knew what I was doing I was folded to her bosom and weeping out the
long pent up load of grief that had been gnawing at my heartstrings. As
I looked up into her face, I could see the cordial, heartfelt sympathy
reflected from her beautiful countenance as she whispered:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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