There's a prosperous firm in town called Celebrity Service, which, for a fee, advises just which celebrities are where and when. Subscribers, in addition to newspapers, press agents and high pressure salesmen, often include fan clubs. If the sidewalk outside a public place is filled with moronic-looking imbeciles of both sexes, grasping autograph books and candid cameras, it's a pretty safe bet someone whom they consider important is inside or expected. Exhibitionistic hams love it and you can find them with their silly smirking faces at any hour around the clock. These are some of the places where they hang out: Algonquin Hotel--Lunch place of the la-de-dah literary set. Barberry Room--Socialites, for dinner. Blair House--Broadway and sports figures. Colony--Top money mob, for lunch and dinner. Copacabana--Show and sport crowd, at midnight and 2 A.M. Copa Lounge--Show, radio, sport and press crowd, 12:30 to 4 A.M. El Boraccho--Show, screen and society glamor gals, at dinner. El Morocco--Top movie stars, international society, rich wolves, Duke and Duchess of Windsor. Dinner until 4 A.M. Larue--Social climbers. Leon & Eddie's--Ditto, Sundays, after midnight. Lindy's (old)--Sporting and racing crowd, lunch and dinner. Lindy's (new)--Song-writers and comedians, dinner and after theatre. Luchow's--Tammany politicos, Mencken and Nathan, opera and theatrical. Moore's--Movie executives and stars, sports, political and Broadway headliners. Reuben's--Broadway mob, after 4 A.M. Sardi's--The drama (pronounced draymah) bunch at lunch and dinner and after theatre. Stork Club--Politicians, columnists--Walter Winchell, always--producers and movie bunch, lunch, cocktails, dinner, until 4 A.M. Toots Shor's--Broadway, especially radio, and sporting bunch for lunch and dinner. Twenty-One--Hollywood, Broadway and semi-society, for lunch and dinner. Other places where celebrities can be viewed include the Metropolitan Opera House, especially on opening nights, when all the sables, stomachers and high hats turn out. Almost every theatrical opening brings out a few celebs, though only at events like the première of an expensive musical comedy or a show with Katharine Cornell, the Lunts or Tallulah Bankhead, do you find more than the regulars. 24. THERE IS NO SOCIETY If this title seems an overstatement, you may have something. But, as far as your eye can see, it is almost categorically true. There is a Social Register, published and revised annually. Its standards for selection are vague and the private corporation which sets them doesn't play according to its own precedents. Its principal excuses for continued existence are that it pays off, as every snob in town feels it is an essential household article, and it is the sweetest sucker list ever compiled for peddlers, panders, climbers and promoters.