But if you flash big bills while paying the driver and give him a generous tip in view of the doorman, word will precede you before you reach the desk. (INSIDE STUFF: New York cabbies spit on dime tippers. A quarter is legit, even for a quarter haul.) You will now stand in front of the awesome functionary known as the room-clerk. Do not quail. Do not quake. Radiate confidence. If there are no eavesdroppers, try the "I betcha" gag outlined for railroad tickets in the previous chapter. Say "I betcha 20 bucks you can't give me a room and bath." But if you think you'll be overheard by others, try this stunt. Palm a $20 bill in your hand. Reach out to the clerk, shake his flipper and say, "Hi ya, glad to see you again. You've got that reservation for Jones, haven't you?" * * * * * For that 20, he will. In normal times you can be choosey about your hotel, picking the one that suits your tastes and wallet. But now, thank high heaven if you get in a flop joint. Generally speaking, the kind of yokels we spell with a capital "Y" prefer inns in the Times Square district. The tariffs are moderate and the location ideal for gawkers. But smart visitors come over to Fifth, Madison, Park and Lexington Avenues. Businessmen quite often check in at hotels near the two rail terminals. New York's huge needle trade industry is centered around Penn Station. The printing trades cluster around Grand Central. The chief hotels for women only are the Barbizon, the Allerton and the Martha Washington.[1] At the Henry Hudson and others there are floors entirely reserved for women. The Y.W.C.A. provides less luxurious but comfortable accommodations. Invariably, these hotels refuse to permit male visitors in guests' rooms, but in case of illness, physicians are, of course, allowed to visit patients. Until the management got wise, the favorite ruse of lovelorn couples pleasure bent was for the doll to notify the desk that she was ill and expecting her doctor. Soon the pseudo-medico would arrive, carrying a black bag. Some gals got away with it ... but no more. Now, when they say their doctor is coming, the hotel nurse remains in the room with the patient all through the "examination." Most hotels will not rent rooms to ladies and gents who check in without baggage, even though they offer to pay in advance. * * * * * (INSIDE STUFF: But practically every hotel lobby contains a drug or novelty store that sells paper-backed overnight bags, as low as 99 cents. Buy one, fill it with a dozen magazines, and you're set.) * * * * * Hotels, of course, have no legal right to demand to see your wedding license. Suspicious couples are brushed off with the usual, "Sorry, no rooms." But if you call first, and are given a reservation by phone, then the hotel must accommodate you.