He found the couple in an embarrassing state of negligee. The gal covered herself as well as she could, told the dick the man she was entertaining was her husband. "Lady, I've heard that one before," replied the flat-foot. But here's the pay-off: They _were_ married. He was en route through town from one camp to another, had four hours between trains. It was in the afternoon, so she didn't bother to check him in. Both sued the hotel for fabulous sums. His was thrown out because he wasn't a registered guest. But the courts awarded the gal a heavy judgment. Hotels are, of course, required by law to provide every possible protection for the property and persons of guests. The innkeeper is not responsible for the loss of portable valuables such as jewels or money, unless checked or in safe-deposit boxes, furnished free on request. When leaving your room, always double lock the door from the outside. While this precaution will not prevent a sneak thief from entering, it will enable police to determine, from the condition of the lock, whether it was an outside job or an inside one with a passkey. * * * * * Hotel lobbies are convenient places for lonesome people of either sex to find someone to help them forget their loneliness. But if you are NOT looking for adventure DO NOT talk to strangers in lobbies. It's wise not to mention your room number to strangers whom you meet in lobbies, and don't answer a knock on your room door unless the visitor has first announced himself on the house phone. Many a gal has been konked on the head and raped, and many a man has found himself knocked out and his valuables gone because they opened to a tap. * * * * * If you hear a disturbance in another room, don't get helpful and join in. Phone the desk, or forget it. * * * * * (INSIDE STUFF: Switchboard operators at most hotels have been instructed by the management to listen in on your calls and report pertinent things they hear. That's how they get wise, even in the biggest hotels, when you have a visitor in your room, often before the visitor arrives.) * * * * * New York hotels are not set up for kids or dogs. Many will not accept guests with animals. Find out if yours will before bringing the mutt from home. * * * * * A show girl we know recently told us that only dumb girls prefer musicians. She said smart gals chose bartenders and captains of waiters for sweethearts, because these gentry always have money--and while she waited for them to finish work, she could drink champagne--at the boss's expense. But, said the cutie, the best of all guys--if a twerp is lucky enough to get one--is a hotel bellhop. The only trouble with that aristocracy, she continued, was that they were too snooty and hard to get. They have the pick of the hotel.