Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction; Short stories, English
"Beggin' your Reverence's pardon," began the visitor, touching the
brim of his hat, and then upon second thoughts uncovering, "but my
name's Jope--Ben Jope."
"Eh? . . . What can I do for you?" asked Parson Spettigew, a trifle
flustered at being caught napping.
"--Of the _Vesoovius_ bomb, bo's'n," pursued Mr. Jope, with a smile
that disarmed annoyance, so ingenuous it was, so friendly, and withal
so respectful: "but paid off at eight this morning. Maybe your
Reverence can tell me whereabouts to find an embalmer in these
parts?"
"A--a _what?_"
"Embalmer." Mr. Jope chewed thoughtfully for a moment or two upon a
quid of tobacco. "Sort of party you'd go to supposin' as you had a
corpse by you and wanted to keep it for a permanency. You take a lot
of gums and spices, and first of all you lays out the deceased, and
next--"
"Yes, yes," the Parson interrupted hurriedly; "I know the process, of
course."
"What? to _practise_ it?" Hope illumined Mr. Jope's countenance.
"No, most certainly not. . . . But, my good man,--an embalmer! and at
Botusfleming, of all places!"
The sailor's face fell. He sighed patiently.
"That's what they said at Saltash, more or less. I got a sister
living there--Sarah Treleaven her name is--a widow-woman, and sells
fish. When I called on her this morning, 'Embalmer?' she said; 'Go
and embalm your grandmother!' Those were her words, and the rest of
Saltash wasn't scarcely more helpful. But, as luck would have it,
while I was searchin', Bill Adams went for a shave, and inside of the
barber's shop what should he see but a fair-sized otter in a glass
case? Bill began to admire it, and it turned out the barber had
stuffed the thing. Maybe your Reverence knows the man?--'A. Grigg
and Son,' he calls hisself."
"Grigg? Yes, to be sure: he stuffed a trout for me last summer."
"What weight, makin' so bold?"
"Seven pounds."
Mr. Jope's face fell again.
"Well-a-well! I dare say the size don't matter, once you've got the
knack. We've brought him along, anyway; and, what's more, we've made
him bring all his tools. By his talk, he reckons it to be a shavin'
job, and we agreed to wait before we undeceived him."
"But--you'll excuse me--I don't quite follow--"
Mr. Jope pressed a forefinger mysteriously to his lip, then jerked a
thumb in the direction of the river.
"If your Reverence wouldn' mind steppin' down to the creek with me?"
he suggested respectfully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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