"With much emphasis he declared that he could not believe in miracles, because of the miraculous way in which they happened. If, he said, a miracle should happen in an orderly fashion, performed under police revision, say, in Regent Street in front of Peter Robinson's, the arrangement and whole sequence of the procedure being duly anticipated and announced by the _Daily Nail_ or the _Daily X-Rays_, then indeed he would say: 'O Lord, O Lord, I am convinced.' "'But,' the white-haired young man said, 'how can you, the rest of the world, or anyone else suppose that I could believe a miracle, that pops in from mid-air, in the most disorderly and unreasonable fashion, without having given notice either to the police or to the editor of the _Daily Nail_ or the _Daily X-Rays_? "'Such a miracle is a mere vagrant, a loafer, a _déclassé_ or _déraciné_, as we say in Burmese. It has neither documents to legitimate itself with, nor any decent social connections. It disturbs the professor of physics at that great seat of untaught knowledge, the London University; it annoys all chemists, and confirms my colleagues in the other pulpits in their preposterous superstitions. "'My brethren and _sithren_, I tell you there are no miracles; there never were any; there never can be any. Just let me tell you an interesting experience I had the other day with a man who travelled in the south of France, a country which, but for the fact that England is good enough to patronise her, would long since have disappeared from the surface of this or any other planet. "'The gentleman in question spoke of Lourdes, and the miracles he had seen there. I listened for a while with patience; at last I could bear it no longer, and the following dialogue arose between us: "He: '"Lourdes is the most convincing case of the miraculous power of the true Church." "I: '"The true Church is in the city of London, sir, and there is no miracle going on there whatever." "He: '"I completely differ, especially if, for argument's sake, I accept your statement that the temple in the city is the true Church. If that be so, then the miracles wrought there are even greater than those observable at Lourdes." "I: '"I thank you for your rapid conversion. I am glad to see that you feel the power of my Church. This power comes from the great truths I teach. But as to miracles proper, I must, if reluctantly, decline the honour. I repeat it, there are no miracles in my Church, neither taught nor wrought." "He: '"Come, come! Not only are there miracles in your Church, but they are also of the very same type that I noted at Lourdes." "I: '"Sir, how can you insult me so gratuitously? Lourdes swarms with so-called miracles, which are no miracles at all, but only the effects of auto-hypnotisation. A person who can believe in the healing power of St ----"