"Why should a woman be honester than a man? I tell you, Anton, that
this girl has the deed."
"Ziska Zamenoy has told you so?"
"Yes, he has told me. But I am not a man to be deceived because such a
one as Ziska wishes to deceive me. You, at least, know me better than
that. That which I tell you, Ziska himself believes."
"But Ziska may believe wrongly."
"Why should he do so? Whose interest can it be to make this thing seem
so, if it be not so? If the girl have the deed, you can get it more
readily from her than from the Zamenoys. Believe me, Anton, the deed is
with the girl."
"If it be so, I shall never believe again in the truth of a human
being," said the son.
"Believe in the truth of your own people," said the father. "Why should
you seek to be wiser than them all?"
The father did not convince the son, but the words which he had spoken
helped to create a doubt which already had almost an existence of its
own. Anton Trendellsohn was prone to suspicions, and now was beginning
to suspect Nina, although he strove hard to keep his mind free from
such taint. His better nature told him that it was impossible that she
should deceive him. He had read the very inside of her heart, and knew
that her only delight was in his love. He understood perfectly the
weakness and faith and beauty of her feminine nature, and her trusting,
leaning softness was to his harder spirit as water to a thirsting
man in the desert. When she clung to him, promising to obey him in
everything, the touch of her hands, and the sound of her voice, and the
beseeching glance of her loving eyes, were food and drink to him. He
knew that her presence refreshed him and cooled him--made him young
as he was growing old, and filled his mind with sweet thoughts which
hardly came to him but when she was with him. He had told himself over
and over again that it must be good for him to have such a one for his
wife, whether she were Jew or Christian. He knew himself to be a better
man when she was with him than at other moments of his life. And then
he loved her. He was thinking of her hourly, though his impatience to
see her was not as hers to be with him. He loved her. But yet--yet--
what if she should be deceiving him? To be able to deceive others, but
never to be deceived himself, was to him, unconsciously, the glory
which he desired. To be deceived was to be disgraced. What was all his
wit and acknowledged cunning if a girl--a Christian girl--could outwit
him? For himself, he could see clearly enough into things to be
aware that, as a rule, he could do better by truth than he could by
falsehood. He was not prone to deceive others. But in such matters he
desired ever to have the power with him to keep, as it were, the upper
hand. He would fain read the hearts of others entirely, and know their
wishes, and understand their schemes, whereas his own heart and his own
desires and his own schemes should only be legible in part. What if,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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